Trick Hunt
by sakurademonalchemist
Summary: An intervention of Odin's punishment leads to a rather...awkward...moment for a certain hunter upon his return from the Pit. Dean Winchester always assumed he was human. Now he has to deal with his abrupt reawakening as Loki, son of Odin and displaced Asgardian. The only problem? Loki was sent a few years too far, and is in his own past. Can Loki regain his former powers?
1. Chapter 1

Odin's current favorite punishment for his sons was to force them to live as mortals, either with or without their memories.

Considering the resentment of his youngest, Loki, this time he banished his son _without_ the memories in the hopes that it would straighten him out...or make him easier to live with.

Unfortunately for Odin, this time around Yahweh, or "God" wanted to teach his sons a lesson as well. Specifically Micheal and Lucifer. Oh, and possibly Gabriel, though odds were that the youngest archangel would get a good laugh when he realized what happened. To be fair, he had no part in Gabriel borrowing Loki's name to hide from his brothers. All he had done was give his son permission.

So when Odin sent Loki down once more, this time without memories of who he was or why he was banished, God decided to have a bit of fun himself. He redirected Loki from the homeless vagrant he would become, to the body of one Dean Winchester.

Time to watch the fireworks.

* * *

 _A few decades later..._

Dean woke up in a cheap box, feeling like shit and remembering vividly his time in hell. Only there was something weird about his memory.

It was almost like there were two sets, and one of them was beyond weird.

He shook his head, and focused on getting out and finding Bobby or Sam. Bobby was easier...he had a home address.

As if his day literally _could not_ get weird enough, when the windows blew he heard something. Almost like a voice.

There were words that he could understand, but at the same time he didn't. All he heard was a name.

Castiel.

Dean shook his head. He needed to clear his mind and hopefully find Sam. Maybe then they could unravel the mystery of why he had come out.

A few hours later, Dean found something peculiar.

Half a day before the deal was about up on the time limit, he had gained the ability to see the true form of demons. He had thought it would disappear after he came back...but he could partially see the auras of people around him.

He was almost shaken when the door opened to reveal a rather hot brunette who asked about a pizza. However he _recognized_ her, even if the body was different.

"Ruby," he growled. "Where's my brother you bitch?"

Ruby's eyes widened perceptively. Obviously Dean had startled her by recognizing her so fast.

"Ruby who... Dean?"

Sam tried to punch him, not believing Dean was back...and instinct caused Dean to lay his brother flat on his ass.

The problem was he didn't remember learning that move. It was absolutely not something his father John had taught them, or the limited amount of hand-to-hand Bobby knew. So where had he learned that?

It was all too confusing, but he had more pressing matters to deal with. Namely that bitch Ruby being in the same room as his brother...and if the bra was any indication, his brother possibly _sleeping_ with her.

Not on his damn watch. He'd gut the bitch before he let her sink her hooks into Sam.

Dean didn't hold it against Sam if he _had_ slept with her. He had been very vulnerable after Dean was dragged to mortal hell (where had that thought come from?), and Ruby had CENTURIES to perfect the art of manipulating humans.

Dean's fingers twitched lightly while he brushed his teeth. Unseen and unnoticed by the humans, a spell was placed discreetly on the door and windows.

The only thing on Dean's mind was keeping Sam as far from Ruby as possible. He didn't care if Sam hated him after, the whole thing left a bad feeling in his stomach.

So when Sam went to slip out the room while Dean slept...his mind was subtly diverted by guilt.

The spell was harmless. The only purpose was to emphasize feelings of guilt and regret into keeping the target from leaving. They could overcome it, if the need or compulsion was great enough, but it did the job.

In this case, Sam's relief and confusion at the return of his brother, coupled with the guilt he felt for being with Ruby and having spent that much time learning his powers rather than getting his brother out of hell meant that he decided to let Ruby wait a few days before meeting her again.

Sam and Dean both jolted up when the TV suddenly came on...and a loud whining hum began to fill the air.

When glass started shattering around them, Bobby was there opening the door. Dean was closest and left first...breaking the spell without remembering putting one there. Sam was next, unaware of what had happened.

Abruptly the whine stopped.

"What the _hell_ was that?!" said Sam. He had a few minor cuts, but ignored them, just staring at the room.

"I'm pretty sure I heard something. Castiel, I think. Didn't get much more than that," said Dean, shaking glass out of his hair.

He was still in shock he heard a name at _all_ , much less that high-pitched whine that seemed to be on the right frequency to shatter glass. That couldn't be healthy for humans.

Dean shook his head again. Why was he having these weird thoughts?

* * *

Dean stared at the folded wings behind the man who called himself Castiel. He wasn't a demon. He was something else...something on the tip of his tongue, but couldn't recall.

Just like he could hear words, but was having trouble remembering what they were translated into English.

Seeing him knock out Bobby and Sam, Dean stared Castiel in the eye.

 _Puffed up feather duster. They always think they're so damn superior just because they're minions to a higher power..._

Why was he having thoughts like that? What the hell was going on with him?

The first thing Dean did, after explaining what happened to Bobby and Sam, was get drunk. Very, very drunk.

In the midst of his dreamless state, something happened.

Dean found himself in his car, in the open road. There was nothing but meaningless scenery passing him by, as he drove through the night.

But it was the person in the passenger seat who got his immediate and undivided attention.

He knew this man. But how did he know him?

" _Don't hurt yourself, Dean. After all, we've been together since before you were born,"_ said the man. Dean couldn't help but find amusement in his sarcastic tone. This guy obviously had a scathing wit to match his sharp features.

"Who are you?"

The man turned to face him, and his eyes were the exact same shade of green as Dean's own...only his felt like he had _more_ to them. Like he was beyond human.

" _My name is Loki. The real one, not that fake who stole my identity and is running around."_

"What is going on?"

" _Odin's aim is 'crap', I believe you would say. His favorite punishment when his sons get too full of themselves or screw up too much for him to tolerate is to banish them and force them to live as a mortal would. Sometimes without memories. Two guesses which version he chose this time?"_

Dean didn't need to think that much to guess what "Loki" was telling him.

"You're me?"

" _And I am you. I'm a shapeshifter, but not of the paltry variety that you...we...hunt down. The question is, Dean Winchester, what are you going to do now? The seal on our memories was forcibly broken when we ascended from the mortals version of hell, which means our memories are threatening to overwhelm us."_

"I take it that's a very bad thing?"

" _We have to chose who we will be. At least the majority of the time anyway. Will we be Dean Winchester, older brother to Sam Winchester and surrogate son to Bobby Singer...or Loki, the banished Asgardian prince who apparently did something to royally piss off Odin and always overshadowed by Thor and his 'friends'?"_

Dean viewed a fraction of Loki's memories...and what he saw had him feel for the guy. He was always overlooked in favor of Thor, and he had grown to resent it. But there was a sliver of good memories. Mostly revolving around Frigga, his adopted mother.

Blood runs thicker than water, but in some cases the blood you chose ran even thicker.

Like his relationship with Bobby, which overshadowed his feelings towards his biological father John. His father might have been John Winchester...but his dad would always be Robert "Bobby" Singer.

"What's your opinion of Sam or Bobby?" asked Dean finally.

Loki seemed surprised about that, before he seriously thought about that.

" _Sam is_ ours _, not that filthy hell spawn. He is_ our _brother the same way Thor is, even if I find Thor to be a complete idiot who's only talent is to smash things with his oversized hammer. He at least_ tried _to keep us included, when everyone looked down on us for being mages rather than warriors."_

Dean saw the memories himself. Thor was an idiot, but then again he wasn't that smart either. He did his best to be a good brother, even when he failed spectacularly. He honestly loved Loki.

"I think it might be better for us to be Dean. It would take someone Sam trusted explaining about the whole forced reincarnation thing before he'd believe We're still his brother. He's going to go nuts when he sees the library," grinned Dean. Loki smirked.

The fact was that Loki had more in common with Sam than he ever did with Thor, but seeing them from Dean's perspective he realized he loved them both.

He just preferred his _mortal_ brother's presence more than Thor's.

" _It's going to be a interesting couple of months..."_ said Loki.

"At least we can use the excuse of hell to pass off any oddities in our personality," said Dean.

" _And why we now have a hair-trigger reaction to shooting that hell spawn or why we refuse to even consider her presence,"_ agreed Loki evilly. _"And to be honest, I don't feel right leaving that staff in the hands of the mortals."_

"Good idea. There's no way that staff would have been able to penetrate the shield around it if it was powered by an Infinity Stone unless..."

" _There was another one inside the staff. Considering what Thanos has us use it for, I'm guessing it's the Mind Stone."_

Dean could see the "sky" lightening up. A sign of him waking.

Loki held out his hand, and Dean shook it. He could _feel_ the memories sorting themselves, reorganizing in a way his mortal shell could handle.

Just because the memories were back prematurely didn't mean his Æsir body had. He had a limited amount of magic as it was.

Dean, and this _was_ Dean now, woke up. Without a hangover, thankfully. Though he still had a migraine from the influx of memories still sorting themselves out.

Dean looked at his brother, and knew that he had to do everything in his power to keep Ruby far, far from him. He didn't know what the demon wanted Sam for, and frankly he didn't care. He just knew that anything a demon was planning wouldn't be good for mortals.

* * *

Sam _did_ notice a slight change in Dean, shortly after finding out angels were real. He was quicker to shoot out a rather snappy, and often times acerbic comeback. He could leave a weaker-willed person in tears with a few short words.

His bad habits of sleeping with anything that had two legs, a pair of breasts and looked female had dropped, but then again that wasn't too surprising.

The biggest change, if he could call it that, was that Dean seemed to be giving him more space. He wasn't as overprotective or cloying, seeming content to allow Sam to make his own mistakes without trying to correct them or lessen the blow. Provided that said mistakes didn't involve Ruby in some manner.

Dean had gone from tolerant to her presence...barely, anyway...to not wanting her ten miles anywhere near them. He started to develop a hair-trigger reaction whenever her name was brought up, and the less said about his nearly successful attempt at killing her the better.

The one time Ruby broached the idea that maybe Dean wasn't Dean the few scant hours he had spent around her, Sam had shrugged off her suspicions. Which were mostly centered around the fact that Dean had apparently _kept_ the ability to tell when demons were around, even if he couldn't see their full form like he had before. He also seemed to know whenever Sam came within ten feet of Ruby, and he didn't like it.

There was a simple reason Sam dismissed the idea that Dean wasn't entirely Dean. Sure, his snark had been upgraded and he had learned to loosen up, but to him not much had changed at all. In fact if Sam had to be honest with himself, he preferred this Dean over the way he was before.

That Dean always seemed like he had the world on his shoulders and took his self imposed duty to protect his brother far too seriously.

This Dean was a snarky, annoying asshole who let Sam breath and could actually keep up with him for once. He was content to let Sam live his own life, provided it didn't involve Ruby in any way, shape, or form.

And frankly he was still a little wigged out from her convincing him to drink demon's blood.

"You alright Sammy? You seem a little...twitchy."

"I know, but I have no idea why. If I didn't know any better I'd swear I was suffering from withdrawal symptoms, but you know I don't take illegal narcotics...at least not enough to get addicted," said Sam. He could feel the sensation of shivers go down his spine, but he wasn't actually _cold_.

Dean paused, slowed the car and pulled over to the side of the road.

"Sammy, do you have anything to say about why you were with Ruby when I came back up?" he asked slowly.

Sam winced. He just knew Dean wouldn't take this well...

"I was with her."

"I kinda figured you might have been sleeping with her, considering the bra I found," deadpanned Dean. So long as it was just sleeping around, he could live with that. He didn't like it, but he could live with it as long as it was in the past.

"It wasn't just that," admitted Sam. It was probably a good thing Dean had parked the car, otherwise they might have had an accident. "She was training my powers."

Dean blinked, as he processed that. The Dean before hated anything to do with demons. The man he was now loathed the things, but he wasn't about to condemn Sam for wanting to learn how to use his powers...unless...

"Training _how_?" said Dean dangerously.

Sam didn't met his eyes as he said quietly "She had me drink her blood. Apparently when you killed Azazel it made the powers he gave me go inactive."

Dean swore in several different languages. Sam was actually impressed, even if he didn't know why Dean knew how to speak Norse.

"That's it. The hell bitch is getting ganked if I see her again. I don't care if you do hate me after, but I'm not letting the fact she got you hooked like that go."

Sam winced. He had never seen Dean this pissed before.

"Dean..."

"No Sammy. She's obviously trying to turn you into an addict who will follow her for whatever scheme she's in without question. I could care less if you were _just_ sleeping with her, but drinking demon's blood is another story," said Dean flatly.

There was another check against something going on with Dean. Before he would have been pissed that Sam was sleeping with her at all, much less drinking demon's blood.

"Dean, I need the blood to use my powers!"

Dean tightened his grip on the steering wheel. If Sam had been paying attention to his hands, rather than Dean's face, he might have seen it bend slightly under his grip.

"Sammy, drinking that shit is almost as bad as making a deal for the powers in the first place. If I can find an alternate method that doesn't involve demons, then will you keep your mouth shut about me ganking the bitch?" asked Dean seriously.

Sam didn't have to think too hard about it.

" _If_ you can find something that doesn't mean having to drink blood, then yes."

"Good. First we're getting you to go cold turkey on the blood before I kill the bitch. Then I'll see what I can find instead," said Dean tightly, rage clear in his eyes.

Say what you would about Loki and Dean, but they were possessive bastards. And they had definitively claimed Sam as their brother, even if he didn't know about Loki just yet. The fact Ruby was trying to use him pissed them off to the point they were highly homicidal.


	2. Chapter 2

Sam had underestimated the sheer pain he was about to go through. However he had agreed to it, as he had been completely unaware of how addictive demon's blood was to humans.

So when Dean left the safe room on the second day (he would need four to get through the worst of it), he thought nothing of it. Sam had been pretty out of it while suffering the worst of the withdrawal symptoms and had been rather nasty towards Dean _and_ Bobby.

Unknown to Sam, Dean had filed away some of the things his brother said...but rather than focus that against Sam, he decided to take it out on the bitch who got him hooked in the first place.

Loki was nothing if not patient. Ruby would not have a quick death, and she would learn not to cross the Asgardian god of mischief a second time if she lived through what Loki had in mind. He knew Hel _hated_ demons and would gladly take out her frustrations on any that had the misfortune to land in her realm.

His...Loki's...daughter would probably be thrilled for her father delivering a brand new punting toy.

So while he claimed a food and booze run, stating a need to leave before he strangled Sam, even if his brother didn't really mean it, Bobby didn't even blink.

Loki didn't feel an iota of guilt for more or less sneaking into Asgard while banished, let alone grabbing some books on real magic, not the paltry crap the mortals used.

Sam wanted to become stronger, wanted to avoid being labeled as just the researcher. Loki could relate. So he would teach his brother magic and see if the idiot could figure out the truth himself.

It took everything in his power to keep on walking as if nothing was wrong when he passed Frigga. The emotions and impulses of Dean, combined with the memories of Loki, meant that every time he thought the word "Mother", he immediately associated it with Frigga.

Just like Dean associated the word "Father" to Bobby...and Loki tentatively did the same to Odin, but he was more inclined to look at Bobby that way.

Frigga _did_ pause, as if she sensed Loki. But since he kept walking past the guards and the ever-watchful Heimdall, she had no idea he had been there.

At least, not immediately anyway.

* * *

Sam looked at the books with some surprise. He didn't honestly expect his brother to find and buy actual books with magic in them. Hell, he had no idea _where_ Dean got them.

Bobby was thrilled having copies of his own that he could use. Dean had found some that he would want for his personal library, and had been deliberately vague on _where_ he had gotten them. Even if most were written in Old Norse.

All they knew was that they had a series of long nights and translations ahead of them.

Sam said nothing when Ruby showed up, trying to weasel her way back into his good graces. He kept his mouth shut when Dean snuck up behind her and knocked her out cold.

He deliberately adopted a "see nothing, hear nothing" approach when Dean dragged the demon witch away and drove off. If Sam had seen Ruby being tortured, he might have been inclined to help her. And he didn't want Dean to become upset by seeing how Sam reacted to him disposing of Ruby. Instead he dove into what Dean had said was a "beginner's book"...which Sam believed considering it was the easiest one to translate.

Dean came back three hours later, with some smudges of red on his hands. Sam didn't ask, and Dean wouldn't say what he had done.

Sometimes ignorance was a better stance.

* * *

"Dean, do you have any idea how to pronounce this?" asked Sam.

Dean, in a show of solidarity and to avoid listening to Sam and Bobby complain about him doing nothing, had hunkered down to 'learn' Old Norse with them. For reasons they weren't going to ask, Dean seemed to have an easier time learning it, and could be counted on to translate.

At this point, Dean counted the mere fact they were too desperate to ask questions as a good thing. The whole stack of cards would come crumbling down soon enough...probably after he stole the staff. Thanks to the prevalence of cameras everywhere, odds were _someone_ might see him catching the damn thing.

Even if he _had_ used a bit of Loki's power to track down that damn file on the Winchesters, and wiped it from existence, someone might put Dean and the staff together...and when that happened it was only a matter of time before Thor got involved considering it had belonged to Loki.

He still had mixed feelings about Thor figuring out _who_ he was originally...because he was too big of an idiot to keep his damn mouth shut.

He liked being Dean more than he had Loki, even if Dean's life had been crap before they were forcibly reminded of who they had been. Sam _trusted_ him, and he didn't feel like he was just a pale shadow of Thor. He wasn't the adopted son of Odin, he wasn't the barely tolerated prankster of the gods.

He was Dean Winchester, one of the many silent protectors of humanity who didn't do it for the glory, but because they were needed. They weren't as flashy as the _Avengers_ , or as open as S.H.I.E.L.D., but they were still heroes all the same.

At least they didn't have to fill out paperwork or answer for collateral damage...like buildings or other personal property. Or deal with idiotic _supervillains_.

Dean looked at it, and grimaced.

It was one of _Thor's_ runes. Still, he answered Sam's question.

Just because he saw his brother in a slightly new light didn't mean he wanted to be reminded of him.

Sam nodded, though inwardly he wondered how long it took Dean to realize they generally asked him to make him feel more useful. Sam hadn't been the only one to notice some behavioral changes in Dean.

Bobby had noticed it as well.

They knew it was Dean though. No one could _possibly_ fake being that obsessed over the Impala, and his reaction to Ruby getting Sam hooked on demon's blood hadn't been faked. He had genuinely been pissed off when he found out.

However something had happened when he had come back from hell, and he didn't automatically believe the angels were on the up and up about why they needed him.

Oh, he believed Castiel honestly thought that his brothers and sisters were doing God's work...but he knew better than to use Castiel as a measuring stick for the rest of them.

Loki only knew that angels (the winged ones that humans knew of) existed, but he never had personal experience with them.

He might mix with the other pantheons, notably the Greek and Roman one, but he didn't even consider dipping into the mythology of the one centered around a single deity that had a bunch of winged messengers/warriors and who had been misquoted for _centuries_.

Besides...every pantheon that had contact with Earth happened to know that Yahweh had gotten fed up with Lucifer and Micheal fighting, and had thrown his hands up in frustration before leaving to go on an extended vacation.

He was currently hiding among the mortals, changing form every so often to keep his children from finding him and begging him to lead them again.

He really shouldn't have made his angels so dependent on him. They were stable for now, but if anyone removed a major angel or other noteworthy leader, they would be like headless chickens.

Hence why Dean took any "order" from heaven with a grain of salt and a healthy dose of skepticism.

And Loki, being the chaotic pain in the ass he was, couldn't wait until the angels found out that their "Righteous Man" _couldn't_ say yes to Micheal and act as vessel...because they could only possess a HUMAN. Dean was slowly, but surely, reverting back to Asgardian now that his memories had been freed.

And Asgardians were entirely too strong and different for an angel to possess.

Yeah, Loki was definitely looking forward to the inevitable bitch fest the angels were sure to let loose when they figured out Odin had accidentally screwed their plans. Best of all, he had no part in the fact he was Dean...it was all Odin's fault! It was a win-win!

Sam was slightly creeped out by the evil grin Dean barely managed to hide, as if he thought of something hilarious and more than slightly annoying.

"Dean, I don't know why you looked amused, and frankly I don't want to know so long as it doesn't come back to bite me in the ass later," stated Sam.

"It's nothing. Just imagining how pissed off the angels are going to be in a few months," said Dean, waving his hand.

"Again, I don't want to know on the grounds I would like plausible deniability."

"Eh...they already don't like you, and there's no way they can pin the blame for it on you either since it happened before you were even involved," said Dean off-hand.

Meaning it couldn't be Sam's fault because he hadn't been _born_ when Dean had, much less had the ability to put Loki into his brother.

Sam eyed him suspiciously.

"This have anything to do with where you got these books, and why you have such an easy time with Norse runes?"

Dean couldn't look him in the eye.

"Maybe."

"Are you really Dean?" asked Sam. Bobby looked up.

Dean rolled his eyes.

"When I came up from hell, it broke a seal on certain memories. I'm still Dean...just with a few extras now."

Sam looked him in the eye.

"I believe you."

"Hold up, what sort of 'extras'?"

"I can see auras, I'm slowly remembering a bunch of languages like Old Norse and a little Enochian, I have a limited amount of ability to use magic...and when the angels figure out what happened they're going to be really, really pissed."

"Magic?" Sam perked up.

"Real magic, not that crap Ruby used or what demons peddle about."

"How pissed are we talking about here?" asked Bobby seriously.

"Let me put it this way... There's a reason why I never dabbled in their pantheon."

"Wait...so the gods are real?"

"I don't know about the Egyptians or some of the others, but I know for a fact the Greek/Roman pantheon exists, and the Norse one has an entire planet called Asgard that's visible from Earth if you have to right telescope and know where to look," said Dean. Seeing Sam looking really excited, Dean smirked. "I can possibly buy a telescope powerful enough and show you, just to prove I'm not lying."

He definitely had Sam hooked now. Bobby eyed Dean with an odd expression.

"This...magic...you're going to be teaching Sam. It's magic from the Norse pantheon isn't it?"

"Pretty much. I know more about that kind than the others," admitted Dean.

"And if I were to ask how you became human?" said Bobby.

"I may or may not have pissed Odin off to the point he banished me into mortal form...without memories... I will not confirm or deny which one I am," said Dean immediately.

Bobby snorted. Sam's eyes were wide.

"What...?"

"There are records of the Chief gods or goddesses banishing the lesser ones...or their children...to live as humans as punishment. The more pissed off they are, the more they have to do in order to be allowed back. If I remember right a god named Thor got his ass shipped back here to learn some humility recently, and it nearly leveled the entire town he was staying in. Never heard the specifics though," said Bobby.

"Long story short he was pissed because Loki did something to ruin his coronation, even if it was a good thing because it just proved he wasn't ready to become king just yet. Because he went to Jotunheim to _demand_ answers from Laufey, King of the Jotuns, Odin got pissed and threw his ass out until Thor grew up a little," snorted Dean.

"And the destroyed town?"

"That, I have no idea. I only overheard the bit about Thor being sent to Earth for a few days because I went to Asgard to steal some books."

That had them staring at him.

"What? Do you have any idea how much it would cost to _buy_ these books, or the condition they would be in? Never mind actually getting the real thing and not some cheap fake," said Dean in his defense.

"If you were banished, how exactly did you get into Asgard?" asked Sam.

"Ah, but here's the thing. I haven't _technically_ been banished yet. So by that reasoning, I can't be punished for borrowing a few books, and there's no reason they'd be looking for a thief," said Dean smugly.

Sam might have tried to become a lawyer, but Loki could outwit and out talk him any day of the week. He had practice in getting idiots out of trouble.

 _'Hmm...there's a thought... Nah, S.H.I.E.L.D. would be on my ass the second they found out I'm Loki.'_

Though the idea of screwing people over just because he could did sound appealing to Loki...Dean was simply too active to handle that kind of lifestyle.

"I really don't want to know," said Sam after a moment. He eyed his brother warily. "This isn't going to bite us in the ass later is it?"

"...Possibly, but not if we can word it right the first time. And then there will be the annoyance factor of a blond idiot with a hammer fetish bothering us whenever he manages to figure out where we are and ruining any chance of a hunt going right," said Dean after a moment.

Because really, Thor did _not_ do subtle. He was all flash and no brain.


	3. Chapter 3

"Okay, explain again why we're heading to New York. And don't say for a hunt because I seriously doubt anything would be stupid enough to stick it's head out where the supers could find them," said Sam.

Dean snorted. Sam was as perceptive as ever. He seemed to take the news his brother was a 'demi-god' currently stuck in human form in stride...after all, even though Dean had clearly reconciled with who he really was and knew how to go back without permission, he had stayed by Sam's side rather than go home. He chose to _keep_ his mortal form rather than return.

And for that, Sam trusted him. Dean was still Dean, no matter who he was or what he had done.

"Long story short there's going to be a battle soon. So I figured we could have a few days off before it started, get involved...and possibly steal a shiny stick that's really unsafe in human hands, much less the one who's currently being controlled by a mad titan," said Dean finally.

Sam put two and two together.

"The battle is the reason you were banished, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"And you were being controlled?"

"Mostly as a way to flip off Odin, since the one being controlled was...is...close to him, yes. But no one even took the time to freaking notice that something was wrong in the first place," said Dean bitterly.

If they had bothered to look, and he meant _really_ look at him, then Thor would have seen his eyes were the wrong color. The _same_ color as Barton's were after Loki took control of him.

It didn't help that the last time Thor saw Loki, he had been working through some anger issues and the revelation that Odin wasn't his biological dad. That coupled with always being ignored in favor of Thor had made Loki bitter.

Dean had come to realize that while he might have been a total man-whore the likes to rival Stark, just without the cash or fame, at least he hadn't been a total child.

No, Loki hadn't been forced to grow up at an early age in order to protect his brother. He hadn't been forced to handle the responsibility of raising not only himself, but his younger brother since John was always too busy or drunk.

Dean might be many things, but he would never regret the decision to remain as Dean Winchester, rather than return to Asgard as Loki Odinsson and deal with the bullshit he had left.

At least Dean _earned_ his accomplishments, rather than be overshadowed by his brother. And frankly he thought Loki needed the break.

"If I asked you anything, you're just going to avoid the question, aren't you?" said Sam.

"Probably."

Sam's only request after learning Dean was really a Norse god currently on Odin's shit list? That if he didn't want to answer a question, tell him outright and not lie.

Lies had nearly torn them apart to begin with, and frankly Sam was sick of them. So was Dean, for all that he was known as Loki Silvertongue. So they decided to be truthful for once, just to test it out.

Seemed to be working so far.

"How bad a battle?"

"There's a reason Odin was pissed. The city might not be leveled, but a lot of people were hurt and an alien army invaded. Coincidentally I may or may not have gotten sticky fingers while getting us some weapons to fight them," said Dean.

"Is..."

"They're hidden really well and you have no idea where I got them. As far as they need to know, I stumbled across a cache they missed," said Dean without missing a beat.

"Should I watch out for anyone?"

"I'll give you a list," said Dean.

He had taken over Barton and learned a lot about the group. And Earth's technology was _way_ behind Asgard. Besides...he still had all the codes Barton had given him. They hadn't thought to change the smaller, more remote bases as a precaution.

Like the base where they had left the Phase Two weapons.

Dean's lips quirked up in an expression Sam had come to realize he was up to no good again. He had a sneaking suspicion who Dean had been before.

Fury was going to be so pissed when this was over and those people in charge of the weapons remembered they existed.

"Do I want to know?"

"Just imagining the expression on the face of the people who previously owned the weapons I 'borrowed'."

Sam rolled his eyes. He didn't want to know. Though he had to admit...Dean as he was now was more fun to be around, so long as you weren't the target of his mischief.

"So since we're going to be in New York for an undetermined amount of time... Can I drag you to a musical or something equally boring?" asked Sam hopefully.

"Sammy, this is a vacation. Of course you can, so long as you agree to hide the booze so I can get drunk if it bored me to tears."

Sam grinned.

"Deal."

* * *

"Never again. What the hell do people see in _Wicked_ anyway?"

"Remember that South Park episode?" said Sam, amused.

Dean snorted.

"Oh yeah. The one with the not so subtle subtext. At least it wasn't _Cats_ or worse, _The Lion King_ ," said Dean.

"I'm eager, but I'm not cruel enough to drag you to those," deadpanned Sam. "How about Stark Tower?"

"No way in hell. They have cameras, and it's going to be hard enough to hide what I'm about to do without giving them _previous_ video evidence we were here," said Dean immediately.

"...It takes an important role, doesn't it?"

"If by important you mean it's the staging ground used to let the alien army out, then yeah, I'd say it's important. Again, not going near a tower run by a damn AI that won't keep his mouth shut and has cameras everywhere," said Dean.

"Fine. How about a baseball game? Or maybe we can go clubbing..." said Sam dubiously.

"Or we could visit the Statue of Liberty," said Dean.

The more they did to act as regular tourists on a vacation, the less likely it would seem that they had come to New York specifically to interfere. If he could play things off as being in the wrong place at the right time, then maybe he could hide the fact he had essentially stolen an alien artifact from under the Avenger's noses.

Loki enjoyed causing havoc, it was in his nature. And Dean...well, Dean was just an ass who loved to prank people.

Sam was heading to Staten Island without a second thought the second Dean said that. Dean snickered.

For the next two days, the two wandered around New York acting like regular tourists. Dean parked his 'baby' somewhere it would be safe during the fight, but still close enough to run to. Even if he had to pay the parking manager with one of his credit cards and supply a fake ID for the next week.

It wasn't like they could trace it back to him, since it definitely didn't say the name Dean Winchester, and he honestly could care less about the illegality of what he did.

So long as no one was stupid enough to steal his car...and he did make sure to put on a fake plate and hide it under a spell so no one would notice it, after wrecking the cameras where it was parked... he could live with walking.

New York was simply too damn crowded for him to even remotely consider driving, and he wasn't going to risk his car when some idiot cop realized his plates were out of date.

He just hoped whoever owned the car that he stole the 'current' plates from didn't notice anytime soon. Not that Dean cared.

* * *

Sam looked wide eyed at the hole in the sky, then turned to Dean.

Dean, who suddenly had a gun that didn't look entirely normal and was handing another to Sam.

"If you see a guy with horns flying around and not getting shot at by aliens, remember that I'm not that person anymore," he said flatly.

Sam nodded, realizing he was about to get a first hand look at who Dean was before he _became_ Dean.

* * *

Sam took careful aim and started shooting down the Chitauri, and they looked pissed.

It was nothing to coming face to face with the Hulk though.

The not-so-jolly green giant looked at Sam, then at the gun in his hand. Sam was not an idiot. He promptly lay down the gun and looked the Hulk right in the eye.

The Hulk chuffed, before slamming a Chitauri that had been coming up from behind Sam and heading off.

It took a few seconds for his heart rate to go down. Sam promptly picked up his gun and went back to shooting things.

* * *

Dean was helping, even if it was a royal pain in the ass to make it look like his presence at the exact moment the staff would be pushed off the tower and sent plummeting to the ground shortly after Stark fell appear to be a coincidence and particularly fortuitous timing. The fact he could be seen looting weapons by various Avengers, notably Stark who had flown past him twice while he was in the middle of doing so, would help his case when they found out the staff was missing.

And really, delaying the inevitable realization by Thor was a big reason to make it look like he had only taken the staff for a convenient weapon was another big seller.

The cell towers were down, and Sam knew where he had hidden the Impala, so when he was ready he could go and wait in the car for Dean to show up and for them to drive off like they always did...once Dean disabled the cameras and made it look like a particularly unfortunately bad hit from the Chitauri.

The building he chose was _just_ inside the blast zone, but not so far away that the aliens never reached the area. A few stragglers would hit the buildings close to the car, but not destroy it. Making it look like they had used the parking structure as a launch pad to them would be cake walk.

Besides, he had stolen one of their staffs and if he hit them from behind no one would be able to tell who destroyed the cameras. Especially if he made it look like collateral damage in the first place.

Seeing Loki fly around acting like an incredibly spoiled child who was pissed at his dad and eager to take it out on the one person who loved him the most, Dean had to shake his head.

Though he would honestly claim he almost had a heart attack the second Castiel appeared without warning when he was looting.

"Son of... Don't _do_ that!"

"Dean, why are you in New York?" said Castiel, emitting his natural puppy dog vibes and radiating a clear hint of disapproval.

"What, the idiots upstairs took offense that Sam and I needed a vacation, and our bad luck happened to kick in?" said Dean offended.

"More along the lines of they are wondering why you are actively fighting against the Asgardians."

"First off, the horned guy is the one leading the alien army. Second the hammer happy moron with the lightning is fighting them too," said Dean irritably.

"My superiors have demanded that I remove you from the area at once."

"Not a chance in hell. Maybe once the fighting dies down and I'm certain the civilian casualties will be kept to a minimum, you can take me and Sam out of here with the Impala, but I'm staying."

Castiel tilted his head for a moment, before sighing.

"My superiors are displeased, but agree to wait until after the fighting has died down enough for you to escape," said Castiel. Then he vanished.

Dean wondered how they'd react if they knew the entire reason they had chosen to take their vacation was so that Dean could steal an alien artifact.

Then he decided it would probably go hand in hand with their anger when they found out who he had been before. He grinned.

He almost wished he could see their faces when that revelation hit.

It was bound to be absolutely _hilarious_.

* * *

 _With the Avengers..._

" _So, anyone have an idea who our two mystery good Samaritans with fancy weapons are?"_ asked Tony. The smaller one with the short hair always made a point to avoid allowing Tony to get a clear view his face, while the other one usually had his back turned when he flew over.

" _Good Samaritans?"_ repeated Natasha incredulous.

" _Tall guy with wavy hair and some fancy gun, and a slightly shorter one with a hair cut to match Barton's,"_ clarified Tony. _"Couldn't really get a decent look at their faces."_

" _No idea. Did you get a look at the weapons?"_ said Steve.

" _If I didn't know any better I'd swear it was the same one you dropped on the table in the helicarrier,"_ said Tony.

" _That's impossible. All Phase Two weapons were moved..."_ started Natasha, before she remembered something.

" _Yes?"_

" _These good Samaritans...are they only aiming at the Chitauri or are they targeting civilians?"_ asked Natasha seriously.

" _Well the big guy ran into one of them, and then knocked off one of the aliens before moving on,"_ offered Tony.

" _Stark, see if you can't get a picture of the two men you saw,"_ said Natasha seriously. If they were only killing Chitauri, then they weren't with Loki...which really begged the question where they got the guns, if they really _were_ the other Phase Two prototypes. Not all the weapons had been taken to the helicarrier, and they should have been told if one of the bases holding them had been compromised or robbed.

Tony didn't get what the deal was, but figured they'd say something later.

So he attempted to get a picture of the two men.

He managed to get a partial of the tall one, but the slightly shorter one somehow _knew_ to avoid being seen by cameras.

Which really begged the question why he felt the need to hide from them.

Of course the picture he took was damaged beyond recovery when he crash landed.

* * *

Dean was grinning evilly as the staff fell into his hand. Or almost did.

He had failed to take into account that the damn thing would be falling at terminal velocity from a tall height, and that his body was still human.

He cursed when he felt his arm break, but managed to smuggle the staff under his shirt and past his waist band. So long as he didn't need to run or make any funny movements, no one would notice he had the thing.

It took him an hour and fifteen minutes to reach the car, nursing his broken arm. Sam was already waiting, looking tired.

"I've had enough of New York for a while," he said.

"Same here," said Dean, wincing.

Both of them jumped when Castiel suddenly appeared, and took them far from the parking structure without even a warning.

They were dumped in Bobby's yard, and their surrogate father cursed when he heard the thump.

"What the... Why am I not surprised."

"Bobby, you got any painkillers?" asked Dean.

"Only thing I got is Ibuprofen, why?"

"Broken arm," replied Dean succinctly.

"...I'll drive you to the hospital. Sam, you go ahead and get some sleep in the safe room while I take the idjit to get fixed. Unless your angel is willing to heal you up."

"Currently pissed we were in the middle of a fight with someone they avoid," said Dean.

"This have anything to do with the battle in New York?" said Bobby suspiciously.

"I will neither confirm nor deny any accusations of idiocy," replied Sam.

"Damn idjits. Move yer ass Winchester, unless you want to sleep with a broken arm tonight!" said Bobby gruffly.

Sam was quick to head inside, grab a glass of water, and then crash in the basement with the door closed. He actually felt good about what they had done, even if the angels were pissed at them for being there. He had saved more people today than he had in the past several years as a hunter.

He didn't want to be a superhero though. Not a chance in hell.


	4. Chapter 4

It took exactly three point zero seconds for Fury to blow a gasket. It took Tony two seconds before he cracked a grin when he found out about what the thief had left behind for the agents to find when they discovered a possible theft.

Phil was pink. Literally pink.

Bubblegum, according to Jarvis' helpful information. He had been the one to walk into the room where the other Phase two weapons had been stored, and opened the locker...only to get liberally dosed with a spray of bubblegum pink paint that refused to properly wash out. Along with five others.

Clint had managed to hide his amusement at the situation as well, which had Tony pegging the man as a fellow prankster.

"I want to know how the hell someone walked right into a remote, relatively unused base and left with advanced alien weaponry without anyone thinking to report it!" said Fury.

"I'm more interested in where the staff went. According to reports a gust of wind blew it onto the street, but no visuals of someone picking it up," said Bruce.

Fury glared at him. He didn't need that reminder. That meant there were two pieces of highly advanced, very dangerous alien artifacts missing. Out of the Avengers, only the Hulk had gotten a good look at one of the two "good Samaritans", and there was no way to get the information of what the man looked like from him.

All he knew was that a third party had been present and helped out immensely in cutting down civilian deaths from the fight.

The shorter one had the presence of mind to blow out cameras whenever he was within even a remote view, while the taller one had avoided the main fighting and stuck to the fringes.

And the only picture they _had_ on the taller one had been ruined when Tony fell from the sky, since he hadn't bothered to send it to another computer. The Hulk had done a lot of damage when he saved Tony's life.

All of that, combined with the headache of the attack on New York, meant that Fury was at a boiling point and wasn't ready to deal with this in a calm manner.

If he found the thieves, they'd be _lucky_ if he even considered making them part of S.H.I.E.L.D., let alone avoid jail time.

* * *

Dean winced.

"So Mr. Carter, exactly how did you break your arm?"

"Misjudged how hard my brother was throwing the football. Hit my arm wrong," lied Dean easily. "Didn't help that I fell right into a patch of thorns right after."

He wasn't about to explain anything to a random nurse. And he had made a point of taking a shower before they came to the hospital. It would have been a bit more difficult to explain the dust and everything else he had gotten from his run to the tower to catch the staff. He hadn't even realized he had bruised a few ribs in the process.

Thankfully all the injuries he had could be explained by playing a game of football that got a bit rough with a bad landing. And since he was going to destroy the card he had since the limit was almost up, there was nothing to trace it back to him

"Well the doctor will be in soon to put a cast on the arm."

"Can I get some painkillers? I really don't want to try sleeping with a broken arm," said Dean.

"We'll see what we can do," said the nurse, not agreeing to anything.

It took little effort to use his ability to convince people of almost anything to secure some high quality pain killers. It took even less time to get the prescription filled twice over thanks to a minor clerical error that allowed for a refill.

Thanks to the fake address, it was unlikely anyone would bother to follow up. A perfectly ordinary explanation and injuries that more or less matched up to his claim. All under the radar and unlikely to attract S.H.I.E.L.D. attention, much less the Avengers. And considering he had undertaken a vendetta against cameras during the fight...

Well, it was unlikely they'd find him so easily this fast.

Dean took a few of the pills, then crashed onto his bed to sleep off the injury.

Sam was sleeping off his own bruises.

"Alright, so what the hell were you two idjits doing in New York, and why did you suddenly show up looking like you lost a fight with a particularly nasty cat?" asked Bobby two days later.

"We decided to take a short vacation, and had the bad luck of picking the city about to be attacked by an alien army," said Dean.

"Bullshit."

"Fine. We were there to loot the alien invaders and to royally piss off the so called defenders of the city. Castiel showed up because the angels were mad we were in the middle of the argument between Loki and Thor, and I told him he could shove off until the fight was almost over since we weren't leaving without helping."

"Now that I can believe. If anyone asked I'll tell them the first though," said Bobby.

"I may or may not have pissed off a one-eyed spy who runs a sorta-secret organization that could find us if they had ever bothered to get a clear look at our face," said Dean.

"You know what, I don't want to know. But if they come knocking my door down you're paying for the damages," stated Bobby flatly.

"Oh god, Dean what did you do?"

"I left a paint trap for when they open the locker I borrowed the guns from," stated Dean with a shrug. Sam looked visibly relieved. Dean could have done a lot worse.

"I hate to say this, but your past self was an ass," said Sam.

"I did try to warn you. He had no idea he was adopted, and Odin told him at the worst possible time before he was put into a coma. Then he was stuck as a king after Thor was kicked out for a while, and considering the timing he reacted badly. The last time he saw Thor, he was hanging off the bifrost and fell off the bridge after seeing his father's disappointed face. That coupled with the fact he had been rescued by an insane titan who is literally courting the Death that presides outside Earth...and...well, you saw the result?"

"Bad timing, and some really crappy luck huh? Sounds like a Winchester to me," said Sam.

Inside Dean, the part of him that was Loki looked shocked...and happy that Sam thought that way.

"Coincidentally I'm going to be hiding those guns someplace safe, and no you can't ask where. That way they can't torture it out of you."

Sam nodded, a bit stunned that they might try to torture him for the information. It was just a bit of harmless theft.

Dean grabbed the guns he stole, the walked past a few cars. Sam looked but couldn't find his brother.

* * *

"Hello Father. Back again so soon? And what happened to your arm?" said Hel pleasantly.

"Didn't take into account the fact that the staff would be falling from a tall height at terminal velocity," deadpanned Loki with a wince. "I'm just here to hide the guns I stole...coincidentally I will be telling you when I'm heading to Asgard so you can watch the fireworks of having Dean tell Odin off for having crappy aim."

Hel laughed delightedly. Now _that_ was a show she couldn't wait to watch, if only to see the look on everyone's face when they heard Dean and his lack of self-preservation. Dean's brain to mouth filter was as bad as Thor's, only with Loki's biting tongue. Sam usually had to kick him in order to get him to shut up.

"I would hide the staff here, but even I realize it would be a bit of a stretch to hide what is obviously an Infinity Stone in your realm. Besides, it'll be easier to hide the rock in the staff than it would the staff itself."

Hel nodded. She wouldn't have allowed it even if _Loki_ had asked. She agreed to the weapons because Loki had casually mentioned it would annoy the mortals trying to pin the theft on his mortal shell and being unable to thanks to lack of evidence.

"Here's a copy of Fury's reaction when he found out about the theft," she said, offering him an odd looking mirror.

Loki smirked...as he walked out of Helheim and turned back into Dean the second he was on Earth.

Sam got a real kick out of seeing how angry Fury was. And since the mirror would only show what Loki wanted it to, no one would realize it was enchanted. Not even Thor.

* * *

The search for the thief was quiet, but still on the minds of the Avengers. It took them a full month to finally locate even a _partial_ picture of the two who helped out while they were busy. A lot of people had roughly the same description, but none could agree on any one feature. All they had to go on was that the tall one had dark brown hair that reached his chin, brown eyes, and was easily over six feet tall and wore old clothing. He also handled the guns like someone who shot regularly at moving targets.

The short one was harder.

He had dark brown hair like the taller one, but his eyes were a green color and he had the air of someone who had either been professionally trained...not in the military but he did have the feel of a cop, possibly the FBI. He was responsible for most of the cameras being down, as he shot at any he saw or thought were there before even coming within view.

There was a brief picture of someone in a tan overcoat with black hair facing towards the camera, but all they could find matching the description was a missing persons report for one James Novak.

The wife had been brought in and questioned, but she had no idea who the shorter man was or why her husband acted like he knew him. She was just relieved to learn he was still alive, but had no idea why he hadn't come home or for that matter, why he had left. He had just been out taking the garbage to the curb when he disappeared.

Fury was at his wits end.

To top it all off, the _only_ lead they had to someone even remotely matching their description was in a single paper file from the FBI seeing as how all the digital ones had been completely erased.

If that wasn't bad enough these...Winchesters...were clearly labeled as deceased, along with a good chunk of police officers and two FBI agents from a nasty gas explosion in the station they were held at. They had been lucky to identify the bodies they did, and the brothers had been in the rough center of the blast.

Which meant they couldn't be the thieves.

* * *

Dean sneezed.

"You're not catching a cold are you?"

"Someone's talking about me. Again."

Sam sneezed next.

"You better not have given me your cold, jerk," said Sam annoyed. "And what's with the cheap Pokéball replica in the glove compartment?"

"Bitch. Do you really want to know or do you want to continue a...how did you say it again? A healthy dose of 'Not my problem'?"

"Dean..."

"Remember the staff I stole?"

"Yes?"

"I ditched it and removed the power source...after I dressed it up like a dick inside an Iron Man suit and had it dumped on his balcony."

"Oh god. Dean, really?" said Sam, pinching the bridge of his nose. Though his lips quirked upward.

"I'll show you his reaction later," smirked Dean. Sam's body said quite clearly he was trying not to laugh at the mere thought of Tony Stark's reaction.

"You did wipe your fingerprints off it, right?"

"I wore latex gloves the entire time, and I dipped it in cooking oil first to destroy any prints before hand. Give me some credit."

"...You're going to be pranking the Avengers, aren't you?" said Sam amused.

"I'll be alluding to the mystery thief while driving Fury up the wall because we're legally dead and I destroyed any camera that might have caught my face. I think I'll hit Black Widow next," said Dean happily.

Odds were they'd try to shoot him once they found out who was leaving all the pranks, especially when Thor realized he was Loki. But he was going to enjoy himself in the meantime.

"Just leave me pictures and keep me out of it," said Sam, his grin making it clear his thoughts on the matter. Dean smirked. He knew corrupting Sam to pranks was going to be fun.

Sam had a good laugh when he saw the look on Tony's face...and Roger's expression when he realized _exactly_ what he was looking at. He never thought Captain America could be freaked out like that just from a prank. Talk about sheltered.

"Okay, change of plans, we're hitting the soldier boy next," said Dean with no little amount of glee after seeing Steve turn bright red before fainting from embarrassment.

If Tony hadn't been so shocked...and annoyed...he would have been laughing his ass off at his reaction.

Then again he went nuts trying to find out how the hell someone left the missing staff...and dressed it up like him...on his balcony without any evidence. To say nothing of how ballistic Fury became when he realized what it was.


	5. Chapter 5

"Is it a bad thing I want to shake the hand of whoever pranked the Capsickle and Romanov?" asked Stark.

"Even if it was the same person who left the staff, missing a glowing part, looking like that?" asked Bruce.

"Hey, I got good blackmail for that prank. I'm not complaining... much," Tony shot back. Seeing Rogers faint when he realized what the staff looked like had been hilarious. No way was Tony letting him live _that_ down.

"Even if it was from Loki?" said Clint. He still hadn't forgiven the jerk for what he did.

"Depends on whether he was Loki or not. Didn't Thor say their dad banished him here to live as a human without his memories?" said Tony.

Clint growled.

"If I find him, I'm punching him in the face. And none of you try to stop me," he said flatly.

"Considering what he pulled, we'll be nice. You can punch him twice," said Tony, not actually joking for once.

"Or we'll let you shoot him in the ass with an arrow," said Natasha. Clint perked up.

"I just want to know how the hell they keep getting past Jarvis."

"I believe I can answer that, Man of Iron."

"Thor! What are you doing back so soon?"

"Heimdall has noticed an unusual amount of activity from Helhiem. Unfortunately with Loki currently banished until his memories return or Odin allows him to come home, we had no one able to visit Hel. So my mother went, if only for a visit."

"Wait...Hell is real?" said Steve.

"I think he means the Norse Goddess of the Dead," clarified Bruce.

Thor pulled out...an ornate hand mirror.

"This is a scrying mirror, enchanted to speak across realms. Hel has one in her domain, though she only speaks to Loki. Here's the interesting thing... according to Hel, Loki's memories were broken by accident already."

"Wait... you're telling us _Loki_ is the one who's been pranking us?" said Tony incredulous.

Thor nodded.

"Loki has visited his daughter three times already, and my mother Frigga saw weapons in Hel's realm. From what she was told, Loki left them there to avoid being 'busted' for having something he 'borrowed'."

Natasha narrowed her eyes.

"You're telling us _Loki_ is the thief who left that pink paint trap? And that he stole the staff only to return it a month later? Fury's going to be pissed."

"Wait, if Loki remembers who he is, why hasn't..." started Steve.

"Hel refused to say, stating there is a reason his memories were broken early. Frigga had to leave quickly because whatever that reason was, it angered her greatly. Anything that angers Hel is not something one would wish to trifle with."

"Thor, do you think you could ask this...Hel...if she could explain why Loki robbed a minor base for guns?" asked Natasha.

"She made it clear she wasn't in the mood to deal with any more Asgardians, save her father. Though she did seem amused initially. I think he's been sharing his pranks with her again," said Thor.

"Well at least it solves part of the mystery as to where the good Samaritans got those guns. Either they're in contact with Loki's mortal self, or one of them _is_ Loki," said Steve.

Because they avoided the cameras, or just shot the ones they could find, there were no definitive pictures of the two men. It was driving Fury up the wall, because the council refused to stop bitching about the missing prototypes.

* * *

"Well, it's official. Thor knows I'm active and he's going to be on the lookout for us," said Dean tiredly.

"Do they know you're behind the pranks?" asked Sam.

"They will with my next one. Now how am I going to get the green Kool-Aid into Banner's shower?"

"Why green?"

"Banner is the Hulk, or the not-so-jolly green giant."

Sam made a face.

"Oh, him. I remember him alright."

"What."

"I ran into him while I was fighting on the outskirts. I took one look at him, put down the gun and looked him in the eye. He took out a Chituari and kept moving since I wasn't stupid enough to attack him, and he wasn't actually going after me at the time."

Dean winced.

"I remember him too...just as Loki. He came up to the penthouse and delivered the mother of all beat downs and left me in a lot of pain while I waited for my advanced healing to kick in."

"Well we always knew I was the smarter of the two of us," said Sam smugly.

"Bitch," said Dean annoyed.

"Jerk. So can I help with a prank?"

"Absolutely. I knew I'd end up corrupting you sooner or later!" said Dean, pleased.

"Keep telling yourself that Dean," said Sam amused.

* * *

Dean allowed Loki out to play. Mostly because it was Oktoberfest, and there was really very little for them to do until they actually _found_ the monster. Considering what they were after, it was likely a shapeshifter.

Sam could tell immediately when Dean shifted into Loki.

Dean had this cocky, but confident aura about him that just screamed "Bad Boy" to women. That confidence was backed up with being competent in dangerous situations, a fact women found highly attractive. The fact he had perfected a style of flirting that suited him meant he was rarely wanting for a bed partner.

Loki, however, had a sophisticated aura combined with a subtle arrogance that would spring up at unusual times. His speech was slightly antiquated, but at the same time eloquent in a way Dean simply couldn't copy...not that he would want to. There was also this hum of power that was hidden in Dean.

Loki was the guy who was invited to the fancy parties where the food was in tiny portions and where everything was beyond civilized.

Dean was the one who knew where the fun parties were and could hold his own in a drinking contest, all while somehow coaxing women into his bed.

They were practically polar opposites in almost every way, and yet they meshed so seamlessly that it was only long exposure to his brother that allowed Sam to know when they switched places.

"Dean letting you out to play?"

Loki smirked.

"He said my expertise on what might be a shapeshifter would come in handy...and that he wants me to loosen up. I do believe he's trying to get me to emulate Volstagg. Actually..."

"Why do I have a bad feeling about this?"

"How drunk do people get on these events?"

"The beer is cheaper and drinking is encouraged. So very."

"Well, Hel could use a vacation..." said Loki musing.

Sam turned to look at Loki.

"Hel as in Hel the Norse Goddess of the Underworld and supposedly one that is half-corpse and half living?" he repeated.

"Actually thanks to spells one side of her body just looks lighter than the other. It was the best I could find on short notice," replied Loki.

"In that case she has a decent chance of a few one-night stands due to beer goggles and the availability of alcohol," said Sam.

"My daughter is going to love me if this works out."

"Wait. Hel actually _is_ your daughter? What about Fenrir?" said Sam.

Loki blinked, before he remembered something about Sam.

"I honestly forgot that you're a dog lover. After I make sure the winged headaches aren't watching, I'll introduce you to Fenrir and his brother."

Sam perked up at that. He absolutely loved dogs, the bigger the better.

Hel not only took Loki up on his suggestion, but to his amusement she ended up dancing with a sober Sam Winchester for hours. He hadn't seen his daughter look so pleased in a long time. Sam definitely fit into Loki's oddball family, and he hadn't even met the _Asgardian_ side properly yet.

And Loki... well, Loki could honestly say he had been accepted by the two hunters, who were more family to him than Odin had ever been. He'd rather stay a hunter than go back, unless he absolutely had to.

And that wasn't getting into the fact that while he was _literally_ in hell, Loki and Dean had been confronted with the results of their actions, past, present...and future.

Loki had _seen_ things while he was in hell, for when he fell, the seal on his memories had been forcibly broken. Under normal circumstances, Loki wouldn't have been SENT to the mortal's hell. He would have gone straight to Helhiem and never had a chance to leave. His actions alone would have barred him from Valhalla.

And during the long nights while Dean and Loki both slept, his mortal self helped him to put things into perspective.

Dean was no saint, far from it...but he could understand redemption. He could understand making mistakes and being guided into a role he didn't want, but accepted anyway.

Just like Loki helped Dean realize that while his relationship with Sam was stronger than even Thor's feelings for Loki...it wasn't exactly healthy. Dean had put himself in the role of a father, in order to compensate for the lack John had left. He had believed he _had_ to protect Sam from everything, even himself.

Loki viewed Sam as a little brother he was fond of, but not as close as what Dean was to his brother. In that, they found a sense of balance of allowing Sam to make his own mistakes and not taking the burden of them unless Sam _wanted_ him to. And, in a paradoxical way, it had brought the Winchesters closer. As had the mutual agreement to never lie to each other again.

They would lie to others, even to Bobby. But they would never lie to one another, even if the subject was something they would prefer never be brought up again.

Like Dean/Loki's stint in hell, or Sam's short-lived relationship with Ruby.

Loki would never be like Thor, always eager for a fight. But he also wouldn't tolerate any of the small insults he had once let slide in Asgard that he knew were spoken behind his back.

The next time he went "home" (and it was easier for Loki to think of Bobby's house as his true home than his rather lavish room in Asgard) he was going to let Dean do most of the talking and hang the rest of them. Odin could banish him from Asgard permanently for all he cared. So long as Sam, Bobby, Thor and Frigga were safe, his interest was negligible.

Hel walked up to her father, amusement clear in her eyes.

"I must admit, I needed this. And Sam is adorable."

"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself. Go, drink some mortals under the table and have fun for once."

Sam had not only SEEN what Hel truly looked like under her disguise, but the fact he hadn't recoiled in disgust was a big point in his favor. Even more so that he had danced with Hel without having to be drunk for it.

* * *

Fury was at his wit's end trying to find the thief. Mostly because the Council wouldn't shut up about it.

The thing was that while he had finally managed to narrow down _who_ had stolen it, tracking the thief was almost impossible.

Hunters, those who chose to hunt down threats Fury's own men would be loath to take seriously, much less know how to handle, preferred to live off the grid.

And the only reason he had been able to figure out _that_ much about the thief was because of a single picture of the taller "Good Samaritan" as Stark had flippantly called the two from where a blast managed to uncover a partial tattoo that was caught on camera.

From all appearances it looked like a pentagram inside a sun, and from there it had taken him months to narrow down why it looked so familiar. When he did, he cursed.

Only a Hunter would be able to steal something and manage to stay off the grid enough that S.H.I.E.L.D. wouldn't immediately pick them up for it. And he could think of a few creatures that having such a weapon would be highly beneficial. He wouldn't let them keep the weapons though...and they'd be lucky if he didn't have them arrested or forced to work off the crime as agents.

If it hadn't been for the partial picture of the anti-possession tattoo, he wouldn't have figured out that much.

Armed with a general idea of what he was looking for, Fury picked up a phone that wasn't connected with his work with S.H.I.E.L.D., and dialed a number he thought he'd never have to use again.

" _What do you want Nick?"_ said a gruff voice on the other end. They had agreed never to speak to another after _THAT_ , but he wanted to get to the bottom of this _now_.

"Singer. I need information on a pair of hunters that were in New York during the invasion."

There was a far too long pause, before Robert Singer said something that told Fury the matter was more complicated than he'd realized.

" _I ain't selling out the idjits, even if you arrest me. Besides, once you_ do _find them it'll open up a can of worms you'd pay to avoid."_

"Who are they?"

" _The weapons that were stolen are no longer_ ON _Earth, and the one who did it said he's not returning them. They're dangerous enough in human hands and he mostly did it to piss you off. He also stole the staff because it was more powerful than you were aware of and made sure the power source was hidden."_

"I can't have those weapons in civilian hands, Singer."

" _They only used them in New York. The weapons were removed shortly after, and you don't have to worry about any of your enemies getting their paws on them. I doubt anyone could get past that guard dog, much less his master."_

Fury barely avoided a groan.

"What did you mean it would open up a can of worms I'd pay to avoid?"

" _Ask the hammer happy moron,"_ was Singer's only response.

Asgardians. Of course.

Fury hung up, but at least now he had a general idea of what was going on. The only question was, which Asgardian and why did they stay in the shadows?

He reached for his official phone and dialed the "Avenger's Tower". He needed to narrow down who he was dealing with before he started tracking down the thief.


	6. Chapter 6

Dean _and_ Loki were very close to going for Uriel's throat the second they heard the inflection in his voice as he spoke to Sam. While they forgave Castiel for subtly reminding Sam of his mistake concerning Ruby, they held nothing but loathing for Uriel.

Unlike Castiel, who only stated fact and held no genuine disgust or other emotion towards the fact Sam had been drinking Ruby's blood while he slept with her, Uriel all but called Sam an abomination for it. And that pissed both Dean and Loki off.

Fortunately Loki's more...vengeful...side kicked in. He managed to hide his presence in Dean's soul. Barely.

It wouldn't do for Uriel to report that there was an Asgardian sharing his soul with Dean Winchester, the Righteous Man. Castiel hadn't exactly been in contact with the Asgardians, much less Loki. And while Odin's favorite punishment was well known among the gods, no one was currently looking for Loki.

Which meant he could cause as much chaos as he could until that secret was blown. Especially considering the fact he _knew_ something was up behind the scenes with the angels.

Still, Loki held his peace and managed to wait until the angels were well out of hearing before he laced the room with cloaking spells. The same spell that hid him from Heimdall's view also hid him from _most_ angels, provided they weren't actively searching.

Once that was done, Dean _and_ Loki let loose every swear word they knew to describe Uriel. Sam managed to keep up with most of it, but he was openly impressed with the variety of swear words Dean had acquired from Loki. And he didn't limit himself to four letter words either.

"Feel better?"

"I'll feel better if I made that arrogant feather duster grovel on his knees and beg your forgiveness," said Loki furious.

Sam snorted...then he realized Loki was serious about that. Seeing the look on Sam's face, Loki gave him an amused stare.

"You might believe in heaven and God, but I have a different afterlife waiting for me...and that's if I'm lucky. I don't know about Dean, but odds are I'll end up with Hel for eternity, even if she won't actively torment me like most who enter her domain."

Sam became quiet, then asked "Do you think we could visit Fenrir after this?"

Loki's lips quirked upward. Sam and Fenrir had gotten along immediately, and Sam's inner dog lover had even thrown a ball a few times for Fenrir to chase. He was now one of Fenrir's all-time favorite people next to Loki himself.

"How about I take you to visit Fenrir _and_ Jormungandr?"

Sam perked up at that.

He had been wanting to meet the World Snake, since he got along really well with Fenrir. Then Sam's lips suddenly twitched.

"Isn't Dean terrified of snakes though?"

Loki smirked as Dean started cursing his brother out without much feeling to it.

Because he had been unable to shield properly while under the influence of Ghost Sickness, Dean had been stuck with a plethora of ridiculous fears...including snakes.

Loki, of course, had never been terrified of snakes even as a child. It was hard to be terrified of something you could hold a reasonable conversation with...and the fact one of his children was in fact a massive snake with venom far more deadly than any on Midgard had nixed any feeling outside of amusement rather easily.

"Dean would like me to tell you to go 'screw yourself bitch'."

"Not a chance in Helhiem, jerk," countered Sam easily, smirking.

After being told even a fraction of what 'Dean' had gone through in hell, to say nothing of what Loki experienced. Dean had been unwilling to go into detail, but when Sam asked _Loki_...well, he got more information than he bargained for. It hadn't taken long for Sam to beg off hearing any more.

If after hearing about hell and the torture Dean had endured, Sam happened to occasionally share the same bed as Dean so his brother had something physical to hold onto, his brother never said a word. Sam's presence was more than enough to act as a buffer for the memories, much less the nightmares that came with them. Loki also never brought up the fact Sam was more or less keeping them sane after that. He had never shared a room with anyone, much less taken comfort from Thor. And Frigga had more or less stopped coming in to check on him after he had turned fifteen...physically anyway.

Asgardians lived longer, but they also matured slower as well.

Loki was about to make a comment when Dean's phone rang. It was a burner, one used mostly as an emergency. Their permanent phones were charmed as much as Loki had been able to, given his limited magic and the fact he was trying to hide the fact he remembered who he was.

It also didn't help that he had yet to take his 'true' form given that New York was not a distant memory and he really, really didn't want to tip of Thor...or S.H.I.E.L.D. just yet. And the less said about alerting Odin, the better.

Dean took one look at the number and said "What happened?"

" _Fury's onto you, or at least knows that the two 'Good Samaritans' as the Avengers have been calling you, are hunters. I managed to divert some of his attention away from you for the moment, but the man's smart. Toss the phone after you're done and finish the hunt fast. He's likely tracking my calls as it is."_

Dean/Loki cursed.

"Wait...they actually call us the 'Good Samaritans'?" said Dean incredulous.

" _Stark coined it, apparently. Since they don't have a name for either of you, they call you that instead. Avoid the house if you can. That should hold them off for a bit longer."_

Dean did not look happy.

"Thanks for the heads up."

He hung up and took the burner phone straight to the bathroom. The sound of something being smashed to hell and then flushed was heard.

"Fury knows it was a hunter who has the guns. He doesn't have a name yet but he's probably tracking Bobby hoping for the 'Good Samaritans' to make an appearance."

"'Good Samaritans'?" repeated Sam incredulous.

"They didn't get our names and I made damn sure they didn't see our faces... but apparently Iron Man coined the name when he spotted us fighting off the aliens in New York and it stuck."

Sam blanched, as he realized something. His hand flew to where his anti-possession tattoo was.

"My shirt... I never thought about it twice but one of the blasts partially burned off my shirt during the fight. The spell obscured my face but not the rest of me," said Sam.

"Fury probably ran into Bobby and found out about hunters, so when he recognized part of the tattoo he figured out that it was a pair of hunters. Then he called Bobby to find out who, but didn't know Bobby already knew about the theft," rationalized Dean. "Shit. This means we'll have to wear a fake charm to obscure our facial features in case Fury thinks to try and find a pair of 'dead' hunters."

It wasn't that Loki disliked making excuses for his spellwork. It was just he really, really didn't want Dean to have to explain _why_ they were wearing one in the first place.

"Let's gank a pair of witches and get the hell out of dodge. The sooner we distance ourselves from this area, the less chance Fury has to find us," said Dean tiredly.

Thanks to the fact Loki could see auras, coupled with a few minor spells the demon-based witches couldn't exactly detect, it took them two hours to kill the idiots trying to resurrect Samhain.

Boy, were they surprised when Loki kicked their asses. More so when Sam was able to use some of the magic Loki had taught him to keep them pinned.

"Sam, I think it's time we accelerated your magical knowledge," said Loki irritated. He did not like the fact Sam had _almost_ come close to failing with his shields.

Sam wasn't going to complain, as he knew Loki took secret pride in the fact that his new brother was more like him than Thor. Having someone to share his magic with seemed cathartic to him. Especially when Sam could fight as well as any of Thor's companions, yet still had a mind to almost rival Loki.

* * *

Fury was irritated that Thor had taken so long to reply, but when he told Thor about the hunters and the supernatural, he wasn't very surprised at all. Well, outside of learning most of the stories he heard came from Earth.

"I have heard tale of such creatures, but I was unaware that they originated on Midgard," said Thor. He frowned. "Loki would know more about them, if he were still here."

Fury turned to look at him intent.

"What do you mean, 'if he were still here'?"

Thor looked very uncomfortable.

"Odin has declared Loki banished without his memories, and he will be forced to go through a mortal life until his lesson has been learned. From what I understand he was sentenced to live as a vagrant with no home," said Thor without looking anyone in the eye. It was clear what his stance was on the matter.

"And if Loki's memories were unsealed early?" said Fury, pieces falling together in his mind.

"To undo such a seal would require more effort than mortals could devise. Such a strain would almost certainly kill him, if not drive him mad. Even if he did manage to survive, it would take extraordinary effort or a miracle for him to be functional enough to avoid being found by Heimdall, much less Odin," said Thor carefully.

Fury had a sudden realization.

"Let's say Loki somehow managed to unlock his memories _and_ stay sane. Could he somehow hide himself from your people?"

Thor hid his hopeful expression, but Fury saw it anyway.

"It is possible, but extremely unlikely. Loki was a master sorcerer, and he has hidden himself from Heimdall on many occasions and he knows the Old Paths better than anyone currently living. There is also the fact that Hel has said she had seen her father recently, but she never said _how_ recently. His reserves, however, would be low. Very low."

"Weak enough to capture, then?"

"Do not underestimate him. If Loki truly is behind the theft, then he is still too dangerous for mortals to handle. And illusions are child's play for him."

Unspoken was the fact that if Fury _did_ find Loki, then Thor was to be informed immediately. Otherwise he'd be impossible to deal with and might refuse to help when they needed it.

So long as he didn't have to deal with an insane Asgardian, Fury could care less.

It was bad enough he had to keep someone watching Robert Singer in case two men fitting the general description of the 'Good Samaritans' happened to visit.

* * *

Bobby managed to call them three more times, usually by having Ellen, Jo or Rufus act as go between.

He confirmed there were people watching the house, and he didn't think they were watching for him and his activities. Even if it made hunting awkward, the fact was he'd rather keep the boys at a distance than let Fury have them after how thoroughly Dean had managed to piss him off.

Dean...or Loki rather, considering he was smarter than Dean, had obviously figured they needed to obscure their faces until something gave.

Bobby didn't know what was going on between Loki and Thor, nor did he care so long as Dean/Loki wasn't hurt from it.

He knew Loki was still banished, and that his 'father' was still angry over what happened in New York. But he didn't know how Thor treated Loki normally.

So if he had to contact them through third-parties to keep them safe just a little while longer, he would. At least until Loki did something to earn Odin's forgiveness.

Because right now, they _would_ kick him out of Asgard if he tried to return, and he didn't think Loki could handle it.

It was strange, thinking of the pagan Loki as one of his 'sons', but considering he was also Dean...it felt right. Whatever he had done in New York he had paid many times over by spending forty years in hell with Dean being tortured. And the affection he felt for Sam and Bobby wasn't faked.

* * *

 _In Asgard..._

Thor was somewhat anxious and worried.

Loki might have found a way to break the seal prematurely. There were several signs he had not only done so, but that he had retained some of his magic. Enough, possibly, to use the old paths.

Frigga distinctly remembered an instance after Loki's initial disappearance when she felt his presence. It had passed her in one of the halls and shortly after several tomes on magic and lore had disappeared without a trace. Some from Loki's room, which only a select few maids could enter without falling to one of Loki's lingering "pranks" to keep the unwanted out. Not that many had, and Frigga had only noticed some of the books had gone missing because she knew Loki's "system" when it came to reading.

The reason Thor was unsure how to feel about the possibility Loki remembered...was because in order to break such a powerful seal, something traumatizing and painful would have had to happen. Such as a near-death experience, or torture beyond what most mortals would be capable of.

Odin had insured Loki would grow up in a relatively safe family and area...but what if one of the many monsters that roamed Midgard had found him? Without his memories Loki would have been defenseless against them, and Fury himself had confirmed he suspected Loki had somehow ended up in a hunter's body.

And Hel had said herself that she had seen Loki recently, and Thor sincerely doubted Loki's mortal self would know how to traverse the paths, much less enter Helheim and leave unscathed.

Only Loki was generally welcome in Hel's domain for any period of time, much less allowed to leave freely.

"What troubles you my son?" asked Frigga.

Thor looked at his mother, unsure if he should tell her what he suspected. Then again, Loki had always been closer to her than he had ever been with Odin.

"Loki."

Frigga paused, before she cautiously asked "What of your brother?"

Thor told her what little he knew. How he suspected that Loki had broken the seal on his memories, how he had been behind a theft on Earth from the mortal organization, how he was possibly behind a series of pranks on the Avengers...and how Fury was beginning to look for him on Earth, in his mortal form.

"We must inform your father. If Loki had indeed begun to remember, he may need his powers back."

Especially, Frigga left unsaid, if her son was around _demons._ They were hard for mortals to handle, much less an Asgardian trapped in mortal form. And if the demons learned he wasn't fully human...

Frigga managed to hurry, despite wearing a dress.

Odin heard Thor's suspicions, Frigga's memory of an incident when she _felt_ Loki in Asgard and might have even passed him in the castle...how Hel had mentioned Loki had visited recently.

Odin sighed. Even bound Loki was a trouble magnet. He just had no idea _how_ much trouble until he went to check on his wayward son personally.

What he Saw had him blanch quite impressively for a god.

Loki had not only managed to get himself into trouble, he was currently being _watched_ by nothing less than a full squadron of ANGELS.

Frigga was horrified.

"Are you sure, husband?"

"I would know an angel when I see one, wife. And he is surrounded by one and is even arguing with a Seraph and a lower angel, with a third close by. A diminished angel can still do harm."

Frigga looked close to worry about her son.

Odin kept watch over Loki, who went by the name of Dean Winchester, as he worked with a taller man who Felt of demon-taint. Strangely, he also felt of Asgardian magic.

Perhaps Thor's suspicions weren't as far-fetched as he had believed. Only Loki would be able to teach a human mortal how to use magic like an Asgardian.

Loki's magic was much diminished, barely average for a human mortal...but Odin's eyes could see in the little mannerisms that the seal had indeed been fully broken.

How Loki had managed to stay sane through it, he did not know.

Watching "Dean" and his brother manage to fight off demons _and_ angels, while helping a weaker angel regain her power, Odin decided that perhaps the test he had planned to put Loki through would determine if he was ready to return to Asgard.

Even if the memories of his actions in New York had yet to fully fade.


	7. Chapter 7

Dean, and this was Dean now and not Loki, was glowering at his steering wheel.

It had been a week since the incident with Anna, and he was still pissed off with Castiel. He made sure to tell the angel in no uncertain terms to back the hell off or he'd be shooting at him for the next few weeks until he cooled down. Sam wasn't much better. He threatened to throw a fireball at him.

The fact he proved he _could_ throw a fireball before making the threat (he had managed to hit Alistair, to Loki's delight) didn't hurt. Even if he could only throw one or two before he became absolutely exhausted, it was still a vast improvement over where he started a few months ago.

But that wasn't the full source of his annoyance. Oh no, that had everything to do with the fact he had _felt_ someone watching him. Someone that by all rights shouldn't be aware he _remembered_.

That is, unless Fury put the clues together and figured out that there was a possibility Loki was his thief. Hel had warned him that the man was getting close to the truth.

If Thor had told Odin about his suspicions, then there was a chance Dean would be undergoing a discreet trial soon. One to determine whether he was worthy of becoming an Asgardian again.

The thing was, neither Dean _nor_ Loki was sure if they wanted to return. Sam needed them, and they would refuse a place among the gods once more if it meant leaving him behind.

"Drachma for your thoughts?" asked Sam, joking.

Ever since finding out Dean is/was Loki, only stuck in a mortal body, he had started brushing up on his mythology. He was almost as well versed as Loki in Norse, even if his pronunciation needed work.

Seeing Dean didn't roll his eyes or make a snarky comeback, Sam paused and turned to face his brother in full.

"What's wrong?"

"I think Odin found out."

"How?"

"Fury. He might have called Thor and put a few things together. Thanks to the charm he can't overtly track us, but he might have found out that Loki is back on Earth and remembers everything."

"Well it is mostly your fault you know," Sam reminded him.

"Bitch."

"Jerk. So what happens if he did find out?"

"There are a series of trials that some must undertake before they're allowed to regain their former title. Most generally pass them, or fake it well enough to make it look like they learned their lesson. But..."

"But you're not sure you want to become an Asgardian again, since it would run the risk of leaving me behind," finished Sam.

He knew the reason Loki had been determined to keep the fact he remembered under wraps. It ran the risk of Thor finding out and apparently starting the trials early, and after the fact he might be expected to return to Asgard for probation.

However Sam was mortal. It was unlikely Odin would permit him to enter Asgard as he was now, and even less likely that he would welcome him as he would Loki.

Loki understood loyalty to some extent. It was why he had never gone after Thor directly in an attempt to kill him, no matter how much he pissed him off.

The fact Sam accepted him and most of his bad traits without question...well, it was something Loki was loath to lose. Sam was a very intelligent man, even for a mortal. He was also a quick learner, and one who wouldn't hold some of Loki's mistakes against him too much, except as emotional blackmail. And he knew when some things went too far, hurt too deep.

Sam _trusted_ him. He trusted Loki on a level Thor once did, but took for granted.

Dean, well. Dean loved his brother and had almost literally sacrificed his own childhood to keep him safe from harm.

As such, Loki was very unwilling to leave Earth if it meant losing Sam.

"Dean...Loki... No matter what happens we're going to face it together. And seriously, if you think for one second I'm going to let some blond with a hammer fetish steal you, you've got another thing coming. I'd sooner walk into Avenger's tower and tell them outright I was one of the 'Good Samaritans' and ask them for help getting to Asgard than let a little thing like a family argument keep us apart," said Sam seriously.

Loki stole a glace at Sam. His entire demeanor stated he was being painfully honest about that. He wouldn't hesitate to expose them to the very people they were trying to avoid if it meant finding him again.

It was yet another chink in the wall that Loki had developed to protect himself when he slowly began to realize people preferred Thor to him. How the bards would go out of their way to embellish _Thor's_ accomplishments rather than Loki's. How Thor's friends would subtly joke about Loki's ability with magic compared to Thor's strength.

Realizing Sam cared enough to even chance the anger of Odin... well it made Loki find yet another reason why he didn't fully hate humanity.

Besides, Sam liked Loki's children and even earned their favor entirely without Loki's help aside from introduction. If that didn't speak volumes about his brother's character, nothing did.

They _barely_ tolerated Thor. Much less as the years went on.

The two drove on, partly to put some distance between a nasty hunt involving a rather twisted old man and the children he had imprisoned until they became insane and feral...and to get away from the potential trouble Loki _knew_ was on the horizon.

* * *

Loki knew when a trial had started. He knew a test when he saw one.

And this was absolutely a discreet test in the form of a random hunt. Obviously Odin had also seen the angelic watchers, and he didn't want to alert them or the demons that were always in the shadows of the fact Loki was an Asgardian in human form.

The _only_ reason Alistair hadn't noticed was because he hadn't EXPECTED to find an Asgardian in the mortal version of hell, much less Loki. And the two sides had been distant enough to hide the fact that the seal had broken. The master torturer had focused on Dean, never realizing a much older, more interesting toy had been hiding in his soul the entire time.

It was just luck that the first angel to find Dean was also the only one who was too young to have contact with Asgard or remember that Odin liked to instill humility in his subjects. Also that he hadn't known to look for an extra in the first place.

Though at this rate his cover would be well and truly blown soon. The angels were far too active on Earth, and most of their interest was on Dean.

Dean, who as far as Loki had been able to surmise (mostly by sneaking peaks into the angel's mind since he could handle their true forms) happened to be Micheal's True Vessel. Which meant Sam was Lucifer's True Vessel, and why the demons seemed so damn interested in him.

Loki would sooner beg the Greeks for a favor than allow an egotistical arch angel to use his brother as a vessel, never mind that if he did take Sam that he would start an age-old grudge match the likes of which had never been seen by any mortals currently alive.

No. Loki would suffer no harm to his brother, especially if it came from something that _almost_ rivaled him in power over something as idiotic as a brother's argument that had spiraled far out of hand.

Having recognized the trial for what it was, and wondered why Odin had bothered considering the memory of New York was still very fresh indeed, Loki decided to emphasize something Odin evidently hadn't picked up on yet.

At least if he was undergoing the trials, Thor would be unable to come within fifty miles of his brother no matter how much he wanted to. No one was allowed to interfere during the judgment.

No one.

"Dean, you alright?"

" _He_ definitely knows. I think for now I'll allow Dean to undergo the trials, rather than breeze through them as I normally would," said Loki.

Sam didn't need Loki to explain.

"So you're going to be sleeping while this is going on?"

"I'll come back to the forefront if you require my knowledge or if Thor suddenly shows up. If he does then that means Odin has passed judgment. But I will make it clear I'll not return if you're not allowed to come as well."

Sam nodded.

"Rest well, brother."

Where Loki had been there was now only Dean.

"It's weird, knowing he's leaving this to us," he said.

"At least he's not gone, just sleeping."

"Still weird not hearing him."

Dean had grown accustomed to talking to Loki, even helping him come to grips with some of his less pleasant memories. He knew the god of mischief was a lot more vulnerable than he wanted others to know. And while Thor had tried to be a good brother, he was an arrogant idiot who hadn't realized his friends had slowly pushed Loki away with their words. Never realized his arrogance had caused his brother to be pushed in the shadows while he basked in the limelight.

Okay, so Dean had thought Loki was absolutely right when he ruined the coronation and made it abundantly clear that Thor definitely wasn't ready to be king...but he still didn't deserve half the crap the world had thrown at him.

Loki might be a god, but in spirit he was very much a Winchester, by their reasoning. And Dean would do whatever he could to protect him, no matter _how_ ridiculous the notion sounded.

Still...that didn't mean he had to like the idea of being _tested_ by a god. Or king of gods.

"Dean?"

"It's nothing."

Sam kept his peace, knowing Dean had picked up on brooding from Loki. He'd talk when he was ready.

* * *

 _Avenger Tower_

"Back up a minute. What do you mean Loki is currently on Earth?" said Clint.

After what happened between him and Loki, it was understandable he was upset.

Thor shifted, uncomfortable.

"Odin has begun the trials. If Loki is to regain his former post in Asgard, he must prove he is once again worthy of it. Until that time no one associated with Asgard is allowed to go near him... including the Avengers," repeated Thor.

"And if he fails?" asked Natasha.

Thor didn't flinch this time.

"It is rare for one to fail the trials. Almost unheard of. The only one who's come close to my knowledge is Amora, though it's heavily suspected that she faked the requirement Odin set in order to regain her former power. And just to be certain all those undergoing the trials have three chances to prove themselves. If they fail...well, they must wait until their mortal lifetime ends before they are given another chance. The only one who failed the trials chose to move on to the mortal's afterlife to be with his family, rather than return to the gods," explained Thor.

"So what, if Loki proves or fakes the results he's allowed to return, no questions asked?" said Clint.

Thor definitely looked uncomfortable now.

"We believe his memory was restored prematurely. The only way to insure it does not drive him insane was to initiate the trials early and restore his powers."

"Thor, we know Loki is most likely the one who stole those weapons. So what's really going on?" said Natasha flatly.

"He is being watched, and not by mortals. There are beings and creatures on this planet that are a danger if they knew that an Asgardian was walking among them as a mortal, particularly one such as Loki. And despite everything he's done, not even Loki deserves a fraction of what those forces would do to him if they discovered his mortal form."

"How bad?" asked Steve seriously.

Thor's expression spoke volumes, even if what he said next shook them all to the core.

"They would torture him for eternity, insuring he was never allowed to die until they bored of him or gained all the information they could. And considering Loki knows more secrets than most on Asgard... well, he would be much better off being tried in a mortal justice system than even a day in their care."

There were things worse than death...and the worst Loki would endure at the hands of mortal justice was death. They had more or less banned torture, save for a few of the groups who did not work under mortal laws.

"So your father decided to give Loki his powers back since he's being targeted by a much bigger threat, since his memory is already back," said Steve.

"It would take something very dire indeed to break the seal. And it would take something close to what mortals call a miracle for Loki to have come out of that sane."

Or, as Thor would later find out, because Dean and Loki were already very much alike and Castiel had unknowingly healed them both together by accident. Which meant the only issue would have been if Dean had rejected his original life as Loki.

Castiel had indeed performed a 'miracle' in more ways than he had realized, when he had resurrected Dean Winchester on orders.

"This is Loki we're talking about. What could harm an Asgardian on _Earth_ except for some random super-villian that he pissed off?" said Tony incredulous.

As it turned out, a lot.

So their introduction to the shadowy world of hunters and the supernatural wasn't exactly like most people. At least they hadn't been put in life threatening danger in the process, and though Tony was still highly skeptical about the entire thing, he did find mountains of lore about the subject...some of which Thor confirmed to be true.

Though he was also quick to add that such research was always Loki's expertise, and that when they faced such beasts it was generally Loki's foreknowledge of them that had made them victorious.

Which, ironically enough, had lead to Thor sharing one of the many, many tales where Loki's knowledge of magic had helped them to win.

Thor would return to Asgard later that week and examine most of the tales concerning his adventures...and found that a disquieting number of them either made Loki's participation insignificant in the long run, or failed to mention him at all save in passing.

If that wasn't enough, Thor also began to notice a rather alarming number of his 'friends' who were quick to judge Loki, to speak ill about him while he was not there to hear.

Thor, for the first time since he even had an inkling that the crown would pass on to him very soon, had begun to _listen_ to those around him.

And he didn't like what he heard.


	8. Chapter 8

**Okay, I've gotten a few questions and I'll answer as many as I can.**

 **First: Why do I refer Dean and Loki as two different people, despite sharing the same body?**

 **A: Because they are two different people. Dean's like the mortal version of Thor, with all the possessiveness of Loki. The only reason they can even be in the same body is because they're both the same at a base level. They're both possessive, they both understand the supernatural at a personal level, and they're both unrepentant pranksters.**

 **Second: Why is Loki having "Dean" perform the trials?**

 **A: Blame Sam. By forcing his mortal shell and his brother to perform the trials, he's giving Odin an opening to turn Sam into an Asgardian. Angels can't possess Asgardians like they can humans...not only is the physiology too different, but the fact they are part of a different pantheon means they can't just take over without some serious consequences. The only thing Yahweh (God) did was _nudge_ where Loki would end up...not enough to get into trouble, but enough to cause a few changes.**

 **Third: Is Thor going to wise up?**

 **A: In bite sized bits. Remember, he IS a bit dense.**

 **Hope that clears it up.**

* * *

Dean's face twitched. Sam looked like he was torn between groaning and burning the evil book in his hands.

Loki. Well, Loki was cackling madly in amusement and because it was obvious that a Seer had apparently become fixated with the brothers, even if it was only a matter of time before they accidentally revealed Loki had been reborn as one Dean Winchester.

Dean had come perilously close to accidentally revealing his true nature as the Asgardian god of mischief Loki when Zachariah had abducted them without much warning and stuffed them into a position that wouldn't have looked out of place in a _Dilbert_ comic strip. With Zachariah playing the part of the pointy-headed boss who lived to make the lives of his employees hell.

Or possibly Catbert.

(It was at that point Dean realized Loki spent far too much time reading, and he vainly thought of trying to get Loki off his comic kick. Then he compared Loki to Dogbert and quietly snickered at the mental image. If they weren't sharing the same body Loki would have kicked him. Hard.)

At least Dean got _something_ out of that irritating experience. He had conceded full control to Loki, who gleefully used his wide and very colorful array of insults on the pompous windbag.

Naturally the look on Zachariah's face as Loki insulted him, both overtly and subtly without missing a beat had gone into Hel's growing expansion of things she could watch for a good laugh.

Dean thought it would have been even funnier if Loki had revealed himself, but considering they hadn't regained their full powers as Asgardians it wasn't worth the trouble it would unleash.

Either Dean earned his position as an Asgardian with minimal help from Loki, or they didn't go back at all.

Back to the book though.

 _'There are times you suck, Loki.'_

Loki just kept on cackling like the vengeful god he was. Then a thought occurred to him.

 _You do realize that if Fury gets a hold of these books he'll quickly realize that you're still alive and put two and two together, right? And that Thor will undoubtedly read them all once he learns of them._

Dean cursed in several dead languages, causing Sam to look at him.

"Thor. Reading these. Learning about us without our permission."

Sam blinked twice before he swore as well...in Latin.

"This isn't another test is it?"

"I think we can blame the angels for this one. They're supposed to be in charge of all true Seers," deadpanned Dean. His twitching face spoke volumes. "I think we need to pay this idiot a visit and explain to him about keeping a certain pain in the ass quiet."

"Agreed," said Sam.

If Dean had known exactly what he was walking into, he would have started banging his head against the wall. Preferably a brick one.

Apparently angels had 'marked' the strongest Seers and declared them "Prophets", to the point that they knew their names like their own. These "Prophets" acquired angelic bodyguards, usually an arch angel, the moment the previous one was 'de-activated' for lack of a better term.

And considering all the hubbub around the Winchester brothers from above _and_ below, it was little surprise that this "Chuck" had picked up on it to the point he was able to sell their story for a profit.

Chuck, fortunately, didn't need much persuading to keep his mouth shut about Loki. Considering what happened in New York, he might lose a decent chunk of his limited fan base speaking about the Asgardian in a positive light so soon.

Yes he could allude to Dean actually being an Asgardian under punishment by Odin, but Loki's actions were still far too fresh for people to accept it.

In any case, Dean was heartily glad the angels _still_ hadn't picked up on the fact he was actually Loki's mortal shell.

Sam looked at his brother and mouthed the word 'trial'. Dean asked Loki, then shook his head. This had been going on too long to be part of the trials.

Didn't mean he had to like it though.

* * *

The second trial was one of the blood. It was considered one of the most difficult. And it was rarely used, considering the general rule of 'no outside influences allowed'.

However this was on influence that had nothing to do with Asgard or Loki personally.

Dean, when he found out about Adam, put to good use his extensive swearing vocabulary.

It only reaffirmed his stance that Bobby was closer to being their father than John Winchester had ever been, much less Odin.

The trial was undoubtedly how Dean would handle the information...and protect his newly found half-brother from the danger of ghouls.

Either way, Dean was not happy that Adam had gotten to live a life he wished he and Sam could have lived, at their expense.

Loki found himself agreeing, even if in the end it was Sam who killed the ghouls and spared Adam and his mother from their fate. It wasn't their fault John was a bastard who thought they deserved to be shielded from the cold hard truth of his real job, but not his legitimate sons.

They left that area after giving them the basics...and setting up some magical warding to prevent a repeat...along with Bobby's contact number.

If, after the trials were over and they were _both_ allowed to go to Asgard, Dean would tell the Avengers about the two and hopefully have them put the two under protective watch with someone already versed in the supernatural.

Unseen or felt by Dean/Loki, Odin made another check towards his son having learned his lesson. What puzzled him was that unlike Thor, Loki seemed to prefer his 'mortal' shell and refused to switch to his true form. Ever. Even when he had to have known that the angels were gone if only for a brief time.

Odin was slowly beginning to realize that Loki had apparently attached himself to the mortal that his human form called Brother like one would a lifeline.

Sam Winchester was intelligent, and despite the fact that he had the taint of demon's blood inside his veins he was more often than not the voice of reason and restraint for Loki's vengeful tendencies. He also clearly knew that his brother wasn't entirely human, but kept his secrets and accepted Loki's nature as a matter of course.

He might frown whenever Loki became too dark, or his vengeful side nearly overrode his good nature (and he did have a good side which had been buried), but he still cared for Loki as if he were blood.

It was also becoming very, very clear that Loki would not return to Asgard freely unless his mortal brother was allowed as well. And, failing that, there was every chance that this Sam Winchester wouldn't hesitate to enlist the aid of Thor's devious friends the Avengers to get him to Asgard if only so he could be by Loki's side, rules be damned.

Fortunately Odin could claim that Sam participated in the trials alongside Loki's mortal form Dean Winchester. If they managed to pass the last one, then he would be able to bring both to Asgard without much fuss...though it was questionable how Thor would react to the possibility of having a second younger brother.

* * *

"Hey Dean, doesn't Cas seem different to you?"

Dean's face went stony.

"Dean?"

"He was Cas, now he's back to being Castiel," he said neutrally.

Castiel had grown on them, to the point Loki openly called him "Cas" instead of his full name. But after they found his vessel wandering around without an angel inside...and then had to watch Castiel retake his vessel only to vanish...well, Sam wasn't the only one to pick up the not-so-subtle change in Castiel's behavior.

It was obvious enough that Dean had reverted to calling him Castiel, and refused to call him Cas.

Sam blinked twice, before looking at his brother.

"What do you mean he's Castiel again?"

"Castiel was beginning to sympathize with humanity too much. So a certain pain in the ass we both hate equally decided he needed to be...retrained."

"Why does that not bring up warm and fuzzy feelings?"

"They essentially brainwashed him, much like the Black Widow was once a loyal weapon of the Red Room. Unlike her, at least he's not being used to kill indiscriminately...but he is used to keep an obvious eye on us."

"Do you think they..."

"No. I definitely would notice if they suspected about me. I think this was more to keep Cas in line than us. Aside from having a few easily explained abilities, we've done nothing to make them suspicious. And Loki is so a part of my personality that they never register when we switch, or when we happen to be merged as one person."

"You two have the _weirdest_ case of split personality I've ever heard of," deadpanned Sam. Dean/Loki snorted, because honestly they agreed.

Completely.

"So what do we do? I mean how are we supposed to break whatever they did to him?"

"If it hasn't broken by the end of the last trial, I'll drag him to the Black Widow myself and explain why I need her...expertise. Out of all the Avengers she's the one most likely to understand. Then he'll be corrupted by Tony and we'll know he's back to normal."

Left unspoken was that dragging Castiel to the Avenger with them was his way of trying to make amends for his actions. The Widow had done a lot of 'foul' deeds like the one in Brazil. Deeds that would easily bar her from heaven if she didn't find a way to wipe enough of it off. As she had once said, she had red in her ledger she'd like to wipe out.

Loki could relate, even if his ledger had been more or less wiped clean from the fact he spent forty years with his mortal form in Hell, not Helhiem where he should have gone upon death. Castiel had wiped the slate clean when he brought both parts of Dean back and Loki had no intentions of dirtying his soul a second time.

It was only fair he offer Natasha a chance to do the same.

As for Clint and the numerous others he had left bereft of family during the invasion...well, if and when he got his Asgardian body back he was going to offer two full days for them to take out their anger or pain on him. They could even kick him in the balls and he wouldn't retaliate.

Being able to hit the cause of your loss wasn't going to bring them back, but it would be a decent start.

Sam could sense that topic had run to the ground, so he changed it with ease.

"So what _did_ you do with the rock that was powering the staff?"

"I hid it. I don't need the Infinity Stones and there's no way I'm letting Thanos keep one. Besides it'll piss the bastard off immensely knowing that the one he gave Loki went missing."

"...What's an Infinity Stone?"

"Six stones that embody certain aspects of the universe. Even one stone is more than any normal mortal could handle, never mind someone like an Asgardian. As Loki, I _might_ be able to handle the power but right now I'm not interested in collecting the damn things. The tesseract that opened the portal in New York was one."

Sam winced at the implications.

"What happens if all six are collected?"

Loki turned to face Sam, his expression absolutely serious.

"Any soul who collects all six of the Infinity Stones and is able to harness even a fraction of their power would quite literally become on par with God himself. You could rewrite reality, time, traverse space without thinking, manipulate souls, awaken powers and expand your mind to the point you would be on the same level as an angel connected to the heavenly plain. However it takes a strong mind to harness those powers and a human's body would disintegrate if it ever came into contact with even _one._ Hence the reason I've hidden the Mind Stone where humans wouldn't be able to find it, much less take possession of it. It's bad enough they still have _most_ of those damn weapons."

The unspoken possible side effect being that the stone might accidentally give it's hiding place sentience, but that was a risk Loki was willing to take.

Sam was about to reply when something hit them with all the subtlety of a freight train, and it wasn't a big rig truck...again.

One moment they were talking, the next Sam woke up with no memory of how he had gotten there with Dean still unconscious... and much to Sam's horror, surrounded by demons on all sides.

Somehow he had the feeling this was the last trial...the only question was if they would survive it.

* * *

 _In the Avengers Tower_

Thor was anxious, and for good reason. Loki had, much to the surprise of many including Frigga, managed to pass the first two tests not as himself, but as his mortal form of Dean Winchester. In fact outside of correcting Sam Winchester's spell choice, Loki remained hand's off.

But the third and final test was always one of the hardest, and from what little Odin had been willing to tell Thor, Loki was currently in the middle of a large group of demons that included a powerful and very cruel one by the name of Lilith.

From what he had been told, Lilith planned to break the final seal on Lucifer's cage, and because there was no need to delve into the inner workings of the Catholic/Christian/Jewish mythology they had no idea of their little prophecies.

Though knowing Loki he had delved deep, deep into their mythos the moment he realized what he was dealing with. Or tried to, anyway.

Since Thor had a _general_ location of his brother, Tony was unashamedly borrowing satellites in the area to monitor it from afar.

Naturally everyone was almost thrown back from surprise...and the sheer power...that came from the screen they were all pretending not to be watching, either from concern or a desire to have a heads up on whether Loki would be an alien nuisance again.

The pillar of light took out three satellites directly underneath, but Tony somehow managed to maintain the visual.

Thor might not know much about the religion that took over where his pantheon left off...but he did recognize that feeling pretty damn well.

"Lucifer..." he said without thinking, causing Steve Rogers to turn to him with wide eyes and shock.

Thor had run into Lucifer once. And it was an experience he would remember for eternity. Lucifer wasn't exactly a big fan of humanity, but he had still been in his Father's good graces. Thor had heard rumors that the arch angel had done something to piss Yahweh off and that his brother had locked him in the mortal's hell...but he had no idea the rumors were real.

If Lucifer had been locked away by his brother Micheal, then he was almost definitely going to be out for some payback against Micheal.

And if that wasn't enough, Thor felt a surge of something hit the Earth. He recognized it for what it was immediately.

"Loki has passed the trials. His power will be restored shortly," said Thor with absolute certainty.


	9. Chapter 9

Dean felt like he had gone ten rounds with Thor, full contact and no holds barred. And he felt like shit. He couldn't even imagine how bad Sam felt...even without the knowledge he had accidentally set Lucifer out of the cage.

That was a nightmare.

So they managed to leave the plane, find the car, and head to the first hotel they could find that didn't ask questions. Dean briefly contemplated the bed, but decided against it. He had a migraine as it was, and he didn't think sleep was going to help much.

Plus, the various aches and pains he was currently experiencing didn't exactly mean he was liable to get any sleep with how crappy he felt at the moment.

Sam was also feeling like shit.

"Dean, is it just mean or do you feel like someone's sticking pins and needles into all your muscles after beating the shit out of you?" asked Sam, who was clearly contemplating the pills in his hand.

Somehow, Dean got the feeling that _Tylenol_ wasn't going to cut it.

As if that wasn't enough, Chuck had to enlist the aid of the rabid super fan girl Becky to deliver a message.

Dean didn't know what the Micheal Sword was, didn't care. All he knew was that he felt like shit at the moment and the Apocalypse could go hang for all he cared.

Topping off his shitty night, Bobby showed up...and almost immediately Dean pinned him to the wall after recognizing a demon inside of him.

"Sammy, the exorcism. Sorry Bobby."

Bobby came out of it pissed, but still more or less whole. He still didn't know _how_ that damn demon made it past his amulet. It was past time for him to get that tattoo.

He took one look at the boys and said flatly "You two look like shit. What happened?"

"Lucifer got out, and we were hit with the power wave before suddenly we got stuck on a plane with no idea how," Sam summed up, then he winced.

"It's times like these I wish those damn feather dusters hadn't been watching us like hawks."

If Loki had been able to shake down some demons for answers, he might have learned early enough to stop Lucifer from coming out of the cage. Instead he had to fumble around in the dark, like a _human_...it was a very unpleasant situation for him.

"So what exactly did the Prophet say?" said Bobby.

"He said the Micheal Sword was on Earth, and a general area where it was," said Sam.

"I bet you ten gold that the 'Micheal Sword' is just angel slang for the fact I'm Micheal's vessel and you're Lucifer's," stated Loki flatly.

"...I wouldn't know where to get ten gold, and I'm not stupid enough to bet against you. Except in poker," Sam amended.

It was a fact that endlessly amused him that his poker face beat Loki's seven times out of ten. His luck at cards wasn't nearly that good, but his poker face still beat Loki's.

"At this point it's a toss up between trying to sleep and or seeing if Loki can't talk his way into getting some painkillers from a hospital. I feel like I'm being poked and prodded all over, with sharp stabbing pains to go with it," winced Sam.

"...Give me twenty minutes and I'll have them handing over the strongest ones they can legally hand over without a permanent prescription," stated Loki flatly.

It took him thirty, and he wouldn't be ashamed to admit he had used a little mental nudge to get them.

The problem was that even two hours after taking it, either the medicine hadn't kicked in...or something else was going on.

They had it. Not only did they _still_ feel like shit, but there was this strange sense of urgency they felt about at least checking out this tip. If only because they couldn't sleep while they felt so bad.

Dean quickly began to wish he hadn't.

Zachariah was there and he was trying to force them into saying yes...Dean more than Sam.

Bobby, at least, had been spared becoming yet another one of the seraph's victims because he had headed back to the house for a bit.

But it was when Zachariah removed Sam's lungs to force Dean into agreeing that his limited patience snapped.

Angel or not, hiding from Thor and many others... Dean/Loki didn't care. _No one_ threatened Sam's life that casually and got away with it.

Loki/Dean didn't think. They didn't even consider the ramifications of what they were about to do to an angel or even if they would be able to.

Right now all they could agree with was that Zachariah had to pay for using Sam to threaten Dean, among many other things he had done to piss them off.

Zachariah's eyes bulged in shock as Dean casually lifted him off the ground by the throat, his expression that of pure rage and fury.

"No one threatens what is mine, seraphim," snarled Dean/Loki. Sam was beginning to lose consciousness as the lack of air was causing him to pass out. "Heal him of the damage or we'll see exactly what an angel looks like without wings."

Zachariah stared at Dean in shock and suspicion. Loki, and this was Loki now, merely _looked_ at his conspirators and with a mere thought slammed them into the walls and pinned them in place like a bug to a piece of cardboard.

"What are you?!" hissed Zachariah.

Dean felt the shift, didn't even think about the fact he shouldn't be able to take that form again so soon.

Where Dean Winchester had been was a very pissed off, extremely vengeful and possession of his full powers once again, Loki Odinsson.

Seeing the hacked off face of Loki, Zachariah's expression went from confusion to shock and horror.

"No! No this can't be possible! You're not supposed to be in _him!"_

"You have crossed the limits of my patience, _angel_. Now heal him of the damage you inflicted or I will see if it's anatomically possible to rip your spine out in a single move," snarled Loki.

Zachariah weakly waved his hand at Sam, who started taking in deep lungfuls of air. Then he started glaring at the angel as well.

"Please tell me we get to deep fry a seraph," he snarled.

"Your magic isn't strong enough, and we lack the holy oil to make sure the damage sticks," replied Loki without hesitation. His expression spoke volumes of how much he would enjoy killing Zachariah, preferably as slowly and methodically as possible. Then he said something that left terror in the depths of Zachariah's soul. "However I'm certain Hel would enjoy having a seraphim to play with along with that bitch Ruby."

Loki looked at the other angels waiting in the wing. Or they were, until Castiel suddenly made an appearance, looking as pissed off as Loki felt.

He dispatched two before he registered Loki as Dean and his eyes widened in shock.

"Sam, you make sure Castiel isn't absconded with again while I deal with this piece of filth," said Loki smoothly.

Sam nodded, and casually lead Cas out of the storage, frowning when he realized the door was jammed. It took some doing but he got the door open enough for him to get outside, with a confused Cas behind him.

It wasn't until he looked back that he realized that Zachariah had _locked_ the door rather securely...and that he had somehow bent the bar holding it in place.

* * *

Hel's first reaction to seeing Loki was...

"Why Father, I had no idea you had passed the trials once again."

Loki blinked, stalled for about two seconds before he replied in a long suffering tone "So _that's_ what it was. I had completely forgotten about it. I did bring you a gift of a new toy, daughter."

Hel looked past Loki to the terrified and confused seraph, and clapped her hands in delight. She so rarely got to play with _those_ since they stayed in their afterlife.

"Father, you always bring the _best_ toys for me~!" she said in girlish delight.

Loki's smirk was nothing short of predatory.

"Take as long as you like with his suffering. If his people come for him, make sure they pay through the nose as well as more than a few arms and legs to get him back. He shouldn't have threatened Sam," said Loki flatly.

Hel's eyes narrowed at the freshly terrified seraph. She _liked_ Sam. He was the only one other than Loki himself who dared to give her a kiss on the cheek that many thought of as rotting. And he showed no sign of disgust, only surprise to learn that while she looked half dead she really wasn't. She just had a very unusual and horrifying skin condition.

"I think I'll pay extra _special_ attention to him then."

Loki left, but not before he heard the fresh sounds of screaming from the angel who had dared to harm what was _his_.

Say what you would about the god of mischief, but he...like his mortal form Dean...was a possessive bastard who did not like it when people harmed what was his. Especially when it was someone they liked well enough to claim as family.

Loki returned and became Dean once more, his mortal sense of vengeance having been more than sated knowing Zachariah was unlikely to bother them again.

"Who are you?" said Castiel, utterly confused.

Dean sighed. This was going to be a long night...they would need booze.

"First we head to Bobby's, then we get shitfaced. I'll explain while we say goodbye to sobriety for a while," said Dean.

"But what about..."

"Again, I'll explain a few things while we get shitfaced," said Dean flatly.

Cas' confused look lasted until they came to Bobby's. Dean sensed the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents take note of their presence, and guessed they'd be dealing with an antsy thunder god within the next few days.

Thor was not good at being patient.

Once in the house, Dean brought out the large number of high-quality liquor he had bought, including some decent whiskey to replace what Bobby had in his cabinet.

"We get shit faced first," said Dean flatly.

Three shots into a long night of drinking, Dean explained to Castiel what was really going on.

"I was born as Dean Winchester...but before that I was known as the Asgardian god of mischief Loki. The real one, not a certain trickster who I will be giving an ass-kicking to for the Mystery Spot. I had no knowledge of who I had been until after I left hell though."

Cas looked at Dean. Finally he said "So _that's_ why there was an unusual amount of damage to your soul. I had wondered why it felt like I was trying to fuse two back into one."

"Sam, you know how we felt like absolute shit when we woke up on that airplane?"

"Does this have anything to do with why I was able to bend that steel bar to the point we could get out of the storehouse?"

"Yes. Coincidentally Hel is giving Zachariah extra special attention until someone either barters for his return or she tires of him. Which isn't likely for a long, long while."

Castiel winced.

"It seems we passed the trials at the same time Lucifer broke out...or Odin decided that we had sufficiently proven ourselves worthy and chose that time to slip in the change. We're going to be feeling like shit for another day or two before I'll have to find a work out so you can build up some proper muscles. Fortunately you have something to work with," said Loki. He then made a face, which didn't look too out of place on Dean's body. "It also means that Thor will be told and will likely come to visit us soon. Very, very soon."

Dean/Loki then turned to Castiel. He straightened up nervously.

"Relax Cas, you have yet to sufficiently piss us off to the point that I'd consider handing you over to Hel or a thousand others who dislike your kind more than demons do. If anything I'm more likely to throw you to the Black Widow...she has quite a bit of experience with brainwashing, and she works with a man I know you'll like."

That seemed to calm him down.

Loki looked at Sam.

"It would seem Odin has either figured out I'll not return to Asgard without you, or you somehow impressed him while you performed the trials with me. Either way, the reason why both of us feel like we're being prodded and stung is because we're converting from 'human' to 'Asgardian'. Or in my case, returning back to what I know as standard. At the very least we'll be expanding your magical powers as well as your muscles, because Asgardians have naturally larger cores."

Sam perked up at that...right before he winced at a stabbing pain.

"You sure about that?"

"The stabbing and stinging sensations are because your cells are converting for the first time. It's been a while since I had to do this, and with all the fuss I forgot about the trials otherwise I would have recognized it for what it was."

"Is there anything to dull the pain?"

"I can put us both into a state of artificial sleep, which means we won't actively feel it but it will come back in a rush when we wake up. However that also means we'll have to hide Baby, otherwise Thor will try to snoop the moment Fury informs him we're here. He's not known for being patient, especially when he's particularly eager about something."

"If any muscle-headed idjit tries to bother you boys while you're feeling sick, you can bet I'll fill them with buckshot...and not one of the salt rounds either," said Bobby.

Castiel looked at his drink, then at Dean/Loki. He downed it in one go, then silently asked for another. He was going to get drunk and not care about the consequences until he sorted this all out.

As it turned out, Castiel needed to make a rather...large...purchase of alcohol before he was properly drunk. Once he was, he went to Dean's room and went straight to sleep while the brothers camped out in the panic room in the basement.

* * *

 _In the Avenger's Tower_

Thor was once again pacing, as he really, really wanted to see Loki again to assure himself that his brother was back to the man he once knew. He was driving everyone save Banner up the wall, actually.

"Thor, seriously, chill. If you're that worried about Loki then why don't you go find him? I mean Fury said that he's sure that Loki's with his contact, didn't he?" said Tony.

"I cannot. At least not for a few days," said Thor miserably.

That got a collective blink.

"Why not?" said Banner, honestly curious.

Thor made a face.

"When one is converting...or in this case returning, to what is considered standard from an Asgardian standpoint, it is rather painful. Your very being is changed, down the last strand of hair. It is comparable to being stung repeatedly while prodded. I have fortunately not had to undergo the conversion, as my experience did not last long enough for my body to convert into what is normal for a human. Most, if not all, generally prefer to sleep through it and experience for an hour rather than deal with the full two to three days of conversion."

Tony was the first to blink, before he slowly said "You're telling us that there's a process that involves changing human cells into _Asgardian_ ones that takes up to three days to complete? How does that work?"

Thor, seizing a chance to get his mind off the fact Loki would absolutely not want to talk to him for a few days, did his best to explain. Needless to say he had Stark, Banner and to some extent Romanov and Roger's full attention.

Stark for the science, and the other three because of personal experience.

Natasha, Steve and Bruce had all undergone their own process to gain what they had now, all of which had been very unpleasant and painful in different degrees. Steve and Bruce had undergone a swift, if extremely painful transformation, though only one had been entirely voluntary.

The less said about the training and conditioning Natasha had to undergo before she became the Black Widow, the better.

Thor didn't know much about the process...but what little he did know was enough to sufficiently spark Tony's interest and more importantly distract the thunder god.


	10. Chapter 10

Sam grit his teeth and took the sudden rush of absolute, excruciating pain that hit him when he woke up. According to Loki this would last anywhere from forty-five minutes to a full hour. Still it was preferable to having to deal with the agonizing pain keeping him awake for almost three days.

Dean wasn't much better, but at least they had each other to complain and bitch about the process.

It hadn't taken long before they began a morbid game of 'who had the worst pain/injury and why'.

It did little to take the edge off it, but it did make passing the time a bit more bearable.

Finally, when they could at least _move_ without nearly screaming in agony from their muscles feeling over-strained, despite having slept for nearly three days, they left the panic room.

Loki would teach Sam some of the standard moves of Asgard to work out whatever kinks they had, once they'd stretched. It would still take them a day or two before they were able to even remotely claim they were back up to hunting again though.

When Thor hadn't made an appearance in a full week, Loki realized that either he wasn't on Earth at the moment or he was showing a degree of patience Loki wouldn't have thought possible for him.

At this point his nerves were frayed enough after having to deal with War and the not so fun two days of Ellen finding out they were no longer entirely human.

Okay, so he hadn't known she had a cousin who lived in New York who had gotten badly hurt during the invasion...but shooting him in the ass was completely uncalled for!

Loki decided it was probably best to simply bite the bullet and go to New York, rather than wait until Thor found them and made a nuisance of himself.

However Dean refused to take the Impala to New York, citing their vacation in which there had been a large number of traffic congestion in three blocks alone on a good day. And that wasn't getting into the fact that while he _might_ bond with Stark over classic cars, he didn't want to give the spies a chance to put a bug in his baby.

They might accidentally stumble onto something they shouldn't, and that would cause a whole mess of trouble he'd like to avoid, thank you very much.

Sam didn't mind, as he had already mapped out a few new musicals to drag Dean and Loki too. He had enjoyed his vacation in New York, invasion notwithstanding.

And since they were heading to the recently dubbed "Avengers Tower", Dean was planning to either drag Castiel with them, or make him act as their ride to the city.

* * *

Castiel apparently liked planes less than Dean did, even if he was learning how to use a phone.

He not only dropped them three blocks from the tower, but he also agreed to appear once Sam prayed to him personally. Loki was slowly but surely corrupting Castiel. It didn't help that he was so out of touch with humans.

It took them fifteen minutes to reach the tower...and three before they were more or less ushered through the elevator doors to an overly intrigued Tony Stark.

"So our Good Samaritans from the invasion finally came back. You do have names, right?" said Tony.

Sam snorted. Tony Stark was like a much more hyper version of Dean before Loki woke up.

"We do, but I have something to say to the bird brain currently hiding in the vents," said Dean.

Tony and the other Avengers paused, before Clint (how he fit into Tony's tiny ass vents no one knew) came out and looked at Dean.

He eyed Dean up, but clearly didn't recognize him.

"You have something against me?" he asked.

Without much warning at all, Dean shifted into Loki.

"More along the lines of I'm giving you a free shot without having to worry about me retaliating," deadpanned Loki.

Clint stiffened. Hell, every Avenger in the room stiffened at the sudden appearance of the god who had caused so much trouble.

Sam, bless him, had the presence of mind to slap Loki on the head.

"Loki either you explain properly or I'm bringing Bobby hear to give you a lecture. Or I'll call Ellen to really give you a headache," said Sam.

Startled by the sudden attack and the fact Loki was not only letting it slide, but he just seemed annoyed, Clint decided to take action.

Within three steps he was in Loki's personal space and gut-checked him before landing a particularly vicious hit with his knee to Loki's groin.

Loki went down, and Sam snorted.

"You did say you were willing to have your ass handed to you."

"I also said he got one free hit, not two!" snapped Loki, wincing. God or not, no man liked being nailed in that area. Considering Clint wasn't Thor, Loki recovered within a few seconds.

"So. Are you two the Good..." started Tony, but Sam raised his hand.

"We're aware of the nickname you gave us. And our names are Sam and Dean Winchester. Even if Loki is currently in control at the moment," said Sam. Then he turned mischievous. "He's also behind the pranks on both you and whoever found the weapons missing."

"Wait...that was you?" said Tony, almost eager until he remembered who he was talking to.

Loki rolled his eyes.

"If you're worried about a repeat of last time, don't. I've more than paid for the sins of falling prey to the Mad Titan, let alone the other ones I'll not go into."

"Wait. Mad Titan?" repeated Natasha.

"When I attacked New York, it was under the orders of Thanos, the Mad Titan. Like Agent Barton I either followed his demands or I lost my free will. And to be quite blunt I was still pissed with Odin and Thor after the mess that caused me to fall from the bifrost in the first place. Thanos could care less about Earth save for the fact that he knew it _could_ grow into a genuine threat to his plans. So he used me in order to nip that threat in the bud," said Loki flatly.

Seeing the collective blink, Loki added "Check the pictures of when you took me to the helicarrier and compare it to Barton's after I took control over him. See if you can pick up the similarity between them. Though it's also part of the reason I'm still displeased with Thor."

Tony hacked the files, and it took all of two minutes before Banner figured it out.

"The eyes. It's the eyes."

Tony zoomed in on Loki's face. Sure enough, his eyes were an electric blue color instead of the green they were now. The same electric blue that Clint had while under Loki's control.

With that sort of proof it was hard not to believe Loki.

"If you really were in New York during the invasion, why did you help _us_ instead of warn yourself?" asked Clint. He hadn't fully forgiven that incident, but he was willing to give Loki the benefit of the doubt.

"There are many afterlives which all living beings might eventually end up. As an Asgardian, I am slated either for Valhalla or Helhiem upon death. As humans you have one of three choices depending on how you die. Heaven, hell or purgatory. However my destination was...mixed up...for lack of a better term."

"Mixed up?" repeated Steve. "How do you end up getting a mix-up like _that_?"

Loki had a pained expression on his face. Sam decided to take up where he left off.

"He made a demon deal, and because he didn't remember he was Loki he went to hell for four months. Which, at the level he was at before he was freed by an angel, was equivalent to forty years here," said Sam. "Coincidentally it's also why he suddenly regained his memories despite the seal Odin put on them as his punishment."

"What's a demon deal?" asked Tony at the same time Steve asked with a hopeful voice "Angels are real?"

Loki gave Sam an expression that said 'You tell them. I'm not dealing with their idiocy without something strong to drink'.

"What do you know about hunters?" asked Sam, figuring that was the best way to start.

* * *

 _Two days later..._

Thor had been searching for days to find Loki now that he was back to normal...unfortunately magic wasn't his forte and his mother refused to help.

So when he arrived in the Avengers Tower, he honestly didn't expect to see more than his mortal friends.

"Thor! Was wondering when you'd be back. Meet Sam and Dean Winchester...aka the mystery Good Samaritans that have been driving Fury up the wall," said Tony cheerfully.

Dean kept his back facing to Thor, while Sam seemed innocent enough. Except he was almost the same height and build as Heimdall, with the intelligence of Loki.

A fierce combination.

Speaking of Loki.

"I have been unable to locate my brother's mortal form. I was hoping you could assist me in that endeavor, Man of Iron," said Thor.

Unnoticed by the blond, Dean was visibly trying to hold back what was clearly laughter. Also unseen by Thor was the fact that Natasha, Steve and Clint were handing Dean twenty bucks each. The longer it took Thor to figure out the truth, the more money Dean made off the three.

He had bet them it would take him transforming into his Asgardian form before Thor clued into the fact that he was Loki. They had been the only ones who hadn't believed him when he said Thor _was_ that dense.

If he hadn't figured it out by dinner, Loki was going to prank him to clue him in. As it was, he was waiting for Thor to figure out Sam had transitioned from 'human' to 'Asgardian'.

It took a minor accident with a metal fork before Thor picked _that_ up. Sam still wasn't used to his new strength, though to his credit he kept his eyes on Natasha's face rather than her chest or ass. Especially when she was sparring with him.

Dean generally fought Clint, and it was clear that he was trying to mend bridges...or shut Sam up.

Clint more or less forgave Loki properly when he 'accidentally' nailed said god in the ass with one of his arrows.

Which, funnily enough launched yet another Winchester barb session which the Avengers watched with mounting glee as you could tell neither of them meant half the things they said. Tony even brought popcorn.

Tony easily agreed to help, though Thor didn't have enough specifics to make it worthwhile...and he was discreetly looking at a still shaking Dean who was clearly trying not to laugh.

When Thor _did_ finally look Dean in the face, he dismissed him completely as Loki. What he didn't see was Dean giving the three a smug look and accepting yet another round of twenties.

Thor finally caught on to the fact Loki was there...after his brother smashed a large water balloon full of enchanted paint on Thor's head, turning his hair a neon purple color that just clashed with his own.

"Loki?"

"You are the most dense idiot in all the nine realms. I was here since you arrived and not once did you even sense me," said Loki. Though Sam could see he was slightly hurt that Thor couldn't sense him as easily as Sam could.

Sam always knew when Loki was in trouble.

Seeing Thor's expression, Sam intervened.

"Hi, I'm Loki's mortal brother," he said calmly. His grip paid testament to the fact he was no longer human.

Thor's eyes widened in realization.

"The Allfather was generous during the trials," said Thor somewhat tactfully.

"More like Loki said that if Dean and I couldn't pass the trials together, then he didn't want to return to Asgard in the first place," said Sam.

Seeing Thor's shock, Sam smiled wryly.

"You'll find that Dean is a rather big influence on Loki, and vice-versa."

Loki specialized in transformation and illusions, but he was a jack-of-all-trades magic wise. To prove a point to Thor, who found Loki's closeness to Sam rather suspicious (as had the Avengers, until they realized there were no romantic feelings between them, but a sort of bond like one you would find in twins) Loki set up a test.

He made fifty fakes and had Thor attempt to pick the real one out. Every time he designated one as a false, it would vanish leaving the rest.

These fakes covered all the senses available, and not even JARVIS was able to tell which one was real from his sensors.

None of the Avengers could guess which was the real Loki, and he had guaranteed a free shot at him if they could. Or a week free of pranks.

The only one who successfully managed to narrow down the real Loki with any real consistency (they repeated the test three times) was Sam. He found him three out of three times without fail.

Thor, to his credit, did find Loki once and almost found him a second time had he not flubbed which one was real. He was so flustered by the second fail that he couldn't find Loki a third time. Still the fact was he was able to find his brother, even if his method of doing so involving smashing things.

Natasha had tried that trick as well, but Loki had managed to switch with his doubles in time and made it look like he was still there while he left to talk to Sam.

Thor wanted Loki to return with him to Asgard...with Sam as well once he found out how close they were.

Loki, however, had other ideas.

"I'm not going back. For all I know Odin has yet to lift the banishment he placed, and while I have passed the trials I'm not entirely certain Sam would be welcomed. Besides, we still have to clean up the mess we created because those damn angels didn't give us critical information," said Loki sourly.

Steve and Natasha both took some hope in meeting Castiel. Steve because of his faith, and Natasha because Castiel confirmed there _was_ a chance for her to wipe enough red from her ledger to enter heaven. She had a long way to go, but there was still some hope.

However Loki was fairly certain Micheal was cursing Dean's name for informing Tony Stark about how naive the angel was...and then promptly enlisting him into corrupting said angel.

The look of unholy glee at the thought of corrupting an angel to be more human had Sam immediately testing to see if Tony had somehow become possessed.

He wasn't, but the cackling was definitely creeping everyone save Dean and Tony out.


	11. Chapter 11

The first clue the "Trickster" Loki had that something weird was going on was when he saw Dean again. Keep in mind that he was very, very well aware that he wasn't the true Loki, but that the odds of running into the actual one were pretty damn low anyway.

At first he thought Dean had said yes to Micheal...but that didn't explain why he still drove or stayed with Sam. Then he realized it wasn't Micheal, and his confusion mounted. Dean was Dean, but at the same time he wasn't Dean. And there was something strange about Sam as well.

"Loki" decided to test them to gain some more time to figure out what was different about them.

Its not like they underwent the Trials of Asgard and suddenly gained the powers of an Asgardian, right?

* * *

The moment Dean realized where he was, he grinned. He _loved_ "Dr. Sexy, M.D.", no matter how much he would deny it if asked.

So when he realized that "Dr. Sexy" had the wrong shoes on, he was quick to slam the damn Trickster into the wall.

"So, we meet again. Which Trickster are you anyway?" asked Dean seriously.

The golden haired man grinned.

"You're getting better at this. And I'm Loki."

Whatever reaction he thought he might get from that announcement, it wasn't the look of incredulous disbelief followed by hysterical laughter.

" _You're_ Loki?" said Sam, snorting before he about died laughing his ass off.

"You're kidding, right?" said Dean in disbelief, but his lips were clearly twitching upwards into a smirk.

"Loki" looked confused.

"What's so funny?"

"We know for a fact you're not the real Loki," said Dean, snickering. This was going to be funnier than he had thought.

"Because we've seen the real one and he's currently in the process of corrupting Castiel with pop culture with Tony Stark," said Sam, snickering.

"Loki" blinked twice, before his own lips twitched upward.

"I'd pay to see that. So how can you be sure he's the real one and I'm not?"

"Well for starters your aura is clearly that of an angel. Not sure what rank, but still an angel," said Dean flatly, his grin far more vicious.

"And let's not forget the most important fact that you can't possibly _be_ the real Loki..." started Sam, smirking evilly.

"Because _I_ am the real Loki," said Dean...before suddenly shifting into the form of the REAL Asgardian Loki, complete with devilish smirk in place.

"Loki's" response was immediate and loud. He swore in Norse, Enochian and Latin.

"So that's why your aura was wrong. I take it that means Sam over here is a newly fledged Asgardian as well?" said "Loki".

"On the nose," said Sam.

"Fuck."

"So who are you really?"

"Gabriel," said the busted archangel. No point in hiding it now...and then he suddenly grinned. "Please tell me that you have pictures of Micheal's face the minute he found out you're the displaced container for Loki."

"No, but I do have memories of Zachariah right before I dragged his sorry ass to Helheim," offered Loki.

Gabriel winced.

"What did he do to deserve that?"

"He threatened to kill Sam if Dean didn't say yes to Micheal. Seraph or not, no one threatens what's mine and gets away with it. Besides, Sam's quite the charmer. He has practically every one of my children, human or not, around his finger."

Gabriel snorted.

"So you're a snake-charmer Sammy?"

"And dog-magnet," added Loki grinning.

Gabriel let the illusion drop, to Dean's private disappointment.

"So how exactly does this work anyway?"

"When Dean was sent to hell to break the first seal, it wasn't just Lucifer's seals that were broken. The memory seal Odin placed on _me_ was shattered and I was stuck in hell with Dean. When Castiel dragged us out of the pit, he accidentally resealed both our souls together. So I waited for Dean to drop his guard before I approached him. Fortunately he was willing to listen to reason since I'm not a demon."

Sam had asked the same question, only to be struck with the sheer possessiveness in Loki's voice and the overprotective tone of Dean's.

Loki didn't have many friends. Well, not friends in the same way Thor had friends with the three who followed him around. And eventually the few he almost had were converted to _Thor's_ friends because they didn't like it when Loki tried to retaliate against the subtle rumors that had been following him around for years. It had pissed him off, and eventually he quit trying centuries ago.

So when he realized that Loki's sheer possessive nature and Dean's overprotective side overlapped, it was little wonder they refused to let Sam go.

Loki accepted that Sam was his own person, that he would need to make his own mistakes, even if they were _big_ ones. Dean, thankfully, followed Loki's lead and found that Sam was even less likely to run away or leave as long as he gave Sam his space.

In a twist of irony, allowing Sam to be himself had brought them closer than ever before.

"I convinced Dean to let Sam make his own mistakes and not feel as though he has to automatically try to correct them. I didn't kill Ruby until _after_ I went to Asgard and stole some books on magic and Sam was aware of what I was going to do. I can tolerate him sleeping with a demon, if that's what he wants, but I'd sooner go skinny dipping in Jotunheim during winter before I allow a demon to turn him into her bitch with demon's blood," said Loki flatly.

"Wait, so Sam has Asgardian magic now?" said Gabriel. He had to duck rather quickly when Sam threw a decently sized fireball at him. "Not bad, for someone who used to be human."

Sam smirked at him.

"So, Gabriel, which team are you on? Team Jackass or Team Soldier? Or are you on our team?" asked Loki casually.

"What's your team?"

"Team 'Go Screw Yourselves'," deadpanned Dean. Gabriel cackled.

"It's Team Free Will," said Sam tiredly. Clint had coined that nickname shortly after hearing about what the whole issue was about, but Tony had found the one Dean had made up funnier.

"Well considering the whole Apocalypse scene was screwed over the minute you remembered you were Loki, count me in on your team. Just don't be surprised if I end up conspiring with Stark or screwing with Thor's head."

"You kidding? I put the left over staff into an Iron Man costume dressed up as a dick and Rogers _fainted_ ," cackled Dean. Gabriel laughed with him.

This version of Loki was far more amusing that who he had been before.

* * *

Steve actually fainted from meeting _the_ archangel Gabriel. Even if he was more like a sugar-addicted, winged version of Tony.

For someone who fully believed in God, being confronted with confirmation his faith wasn't in vain was a bit too much for the poor man. Gabriel took it with good humor and even answered most of the questions Steve had about his Father, and about heaven in general.

There was no doubt that when he died, Steve would end up in heaven.

Of course that was nothing compared to the two days in which Loki agreed to let people vent their frustration and grief on him for what he did to New York with the alien army...even if he wasn't _entirely_ responsible for what happened.

It took him a week before he could fully heal from that ass-kicking, but the fact was that the stunt had allowed some people who had lost loved ones start the healing process on the right foot. Having a chance to actually vent on the main ringleader helped.

Thor was actually proud of Loki for doing it, because it had actually helped his reputation that he allowed physical harm to himself without worry of returning the favor.

Humans had a psychological need for revenge. It was hardwired into them. Giving them even a fraction of it for loss was a good way to get on their good side...or set the stage for neutrality.

As predicted, Gabriel got along well with Tony. Too well, in the opinion of the Avengers. With the archangel's ability to conjure items (namely sugar or candy) and the inherit mischief of Tony and Dean, chaos reigned for all of a week...before Pepper had enough and promptly dragged Gabriel into another room for a long lecture.

Dean grinned...right up until Pepper repeated the same treatment for him and Tony.

Loki's respect for the woman solidified. Anyone who could make _him_ feel guilty about making Steve go that red from embarrassment was a woman on the same level as his mother Frigga.

* * *

 _In Asgard..._

Frigga was rather...irritated...with her youngest son Loki. He had refused outright to return, citing that he "wasn't sure" that Odin had lifted the banishment order, despite knowing that anyone who passed the trials automatically had such decrees removed.

She would openly admit to spying on Loki...and his new brother Samuel.

She had begun to suspect that the entire reason Loki was loath to return was because he feared that Samuel would be converted into yet another one of Thor's friends, despite evidence to the contrary. She was ashamed to admit she hadn't noticed that the Warriors Three would subtly invite anyone who was more Loki's friend than Thor's on small hunts and other gatherings and slowly turn them into Thor's friend.

From what she saw though, Samuel however, appeared to be more the scholarly type than the warrior breed that was common in Asgard. He put up with Loki's snark and caustic words with a grain of salt, even throwing back some of his own.

And he tolerated Thor, which was blatantly clear from the way he acted around him.

Frigga's lips quirked upward. Perhaps it was time to remind Loki who got him started on his mischief in the first place...and trick her errant son into returning.

* * *

Loki and Sam both felt the bifrost gate open, and assumed it was one of the Warriors Three or Thor returning to visit Jane. Loki had more or less punted his brother to his mortal girlfriend in an attempt to shut him up, and aside from the slap she gave him, she was definitely pleased to see Thor again.

Dean was busy working on the Impala, which had thrown a rod, while Sam continued reading the Asgardian books. Bobby was out on a hunt and told them to go ahead and stay at his house.

So it was with some confusion when he realized there was a woman he didn't know looking around with some amusement at the yard.

Considering they had applied devil's gates around all the entrances around Bobby's house, among others, she wasn't a demon or other supernatural nuisance. In fact, if Sam was pressed he might say her garb looked similar to...

Oh.

Asgardian.

Well, there was no reason to be impolite. Sam got up and walked outside, and he noticed her eyes locked on him.

"Can I help you ma'am?"

"I believe you can Samuel. You see I'm trying to convince my errant son to come home and he's being particularly stubborn."

It took Sam a few seconds to realize that this was possibly Queen Frigga...Loki and Thor's mother. His grin was pure Loki.

"Well it would be interesting to see the Asgardian library first hand, and Valhalla only knows how much fun it would be to get Loki back for some of the pranks he's pulled on me before," said Sam grinning.

Frigga's smile was more of a smirk.

It took little time before they were gone, and it took less than that for Loki to realize the bifrost had activated too close to the house.

Thor had agreed to only use that method _outside_ the grounds. And since he had the radio on, he hadn't heard the conversation.

* * *

It took Loki a solid minute before he figured out Sam was on Asgard, and another to stop swearing.

Someone was going to pay for this.

Sam fell in love the second he saw the library. Frigga was highly amused, and pleasantly surprised to see how genuinely respectful Sam was around her. Though the same could not be said for Sif or Thor's friends.

Apparently he had _words_ with Sif, Fandral, Volstagg and Hogun the last time they were on Earth after Loki was considered forgiven by Odin.

As for Odin himself...well... he had been wary of accepting Samuel ("Call me Sam, please. No one calls me Samuel anymore.") Winchester because of his demon's blood. Then Sam proved to have all the _good_ qualities of Loki the longer he watched, and he definitely had the amazing ability of keeping Loki in line without being hurtful or causing a rift between them.

Something that only Frigga could accomplish to date.

Sam genuinely cared about Loki and how he was feeling. The fact Loki had more in common with him than Thor didn't hurt either.

Odin had been impressed enough to accept Sam and allow him into Asgard whenever Loki visited, but not enough that he would declare him a member of the royal family by extension.

Sam took the victory for what it was, and didn't complain. It wasn't like he _needed_ to be considered part of the family.

Which was why after he was told where to find the kitchens, Frigga lead him to Loki's favorite place in the castle, next to his room.

The library.

Seeing his eyes light up, Frigga smiled.

Loki's brother indeed.

Loki chose to take the older paths, and then land on the bifrost, just outside the city. Once he was safely on the ground, he switched to Dean and started walking.

No one looked twice at a member of the guard wearing his armor. So long as he _looked_ like he belonged, no one would ask questions.

Loki was pissed, but was able to hide it well enough that no one bothered him.

It wasn't until he sensed Sam's presence in the library...and when he peaked in he found no guards... that he cottoned on to the only possible explanation for what was happening.

 _Do you think..._ started Dean.

 _Mother. It has to be... Odin wouldn't care one way or another, but Frigga has him wrapped around her finger sometimes. She must have gotten Heimdall to drop her off and borrowed Sam to force me to come back,_ said Loki, and you could sense him putting his hand to his face in exasperation.

 _Leave it to a mom to know how to blackmail her son,_ laughed Dean.

Loki sensed for Frigga, and found her close to the main hall where Odin held court.

He took a few short cuts and walked into the room, allowing the illusion of the armor to drop.

"Hello, mother," said Loki.

Frigga turned to face her son with a smug look. He just knew it was going to be one of those weeks.


	12. Chapter 12

It was official. Loki was glad that Dean had his own separate personality that could act independent of his own. Sam had apparently picked up on his brother's presence though the odd Winchester telepathy they had going on...likely as a side effect of Loki hiding the Mind Stone in the Impala's engine near the console... so he was present when Dean's brain to mouth filter malfunctioned and he actually _told off_ Odin to his face.

Sam's leg quickly grew tired of trying to kick Dean into shutting up, so he finally resorted to a very _painful_ slap to the head.

Though they did accidentally find out one thing though.

Loki was NOT supposed to end up in Dean Winchester originally. Apparently Yahweh, or "God" to the humans, had diverted Loki's soul at the last minute into Dean for a laugh.

Considering the alternative, the life of a nameless vagrant, Loki preferred being Dean.

At least he got a brother out of it.

Loki, however, was not ashamed of Dean's sudden lack of tact and lack of self-preservation skills. He was glad Dean had put voice to things he would never dare to say out loud, much less in the presence of Odin while he was awake. Hearing Dean call Odin out on his _spectacularly_ horrible timing telling Loki he was adopted and the fact he clearly favored Thor over Loki was something he would remember for centuries.

Though seeing Frigga hide a smile behind her hand, Loki knew his _mother_ was glad Loki finally had a way of saying things he normally couldn't.

Odin didn't look happy, but he also didn't threaten to banish Dean and Sam from Asgard.

Instead he decided on a change of subject.

"Would you care to explain why you were surrounded by angels for several months?"

Dean made a face, then switched with Loki seamlessly.

"The mortal's heaven apparently has a prophecy involving Lucifer and Micheal. Unfortunately that prophecy involves Sam and 'Dean' Winchester. Dean was _supposed_ to be the vessel for Micheal, while Sam is Lucifer's. Naturally I disagreed with that, so when the opportunity presented itself I derailed their plans. At the moment things are at a standstill, and will only grow worse from there once Lucifer learns Sam is no longer capable of harboring his grace."

There was also the oddity of the four days Dean and Loki spent in 2014, where Sam was possessed by Lucifer and running rampant.

They never did find out which angel took them there, or why.

Though they did alert Fury about the Croatoan virus and that the demons had spread it through a fake vaccine once Pestilence had gotten started.

Fury had been pissed, but finding out that an entire town had been wiped out by the virus had been enough to convince him Loki wasn't lying. Being able to name the date, town and some of the people there had proven their case.

Either way, S.H.I.E.L.D was now on the lookout for fake vaccines carrying a virus. They even had a rough idea of which company to look at.

Loki ran his hand through his hair, a habit he picked up from Dean.

"Right now Earth is at a crossroads. I don't plan on tipping the mess the angels allowed to happen one way or another. I'm removing the pins and letting whatever happens next happen. Having aliens fighting over the humans is bad enough...the last thing they need is to have a pair of petulant angels have a grudge match over who father loved best."

Hearing Sam's snort, Loki glared at him.

"My disagreement with Thor is nothing like Micheal and Lucifer's bitch fest," said Loki flatly.

"True, Thor doesn't see humans the same way as Micheal does, and you're infinitely less whiny than Lucifer," said Sam smirking.

"Bitch," said Loki.

"Jerk."

"A-hem," said Frigga, openly smiling now. Loki looked like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Sam's smirk grew wider.

"I am so going to get you for that."

"And leave yourself without the only sane person you consider a decent conversation? Besides, what would Hel, Jor and Fenrir say if they knew you did something? They wouldn't talk to you for _years_ , if you were lucky."

Loki's looked very much like a pouting child. He hated it when Sam won an argument.

"I think, Samuel, that you will be _very_ good for Loki," said Frigga, not bothering to hide her amusement anymore.

Sam made a face at being reminded of his full name, which restored some of Loki's mood.

"And as for you, Loki. You had better not go for months without visiting or I'll abscond with your brother again," said Frigga sternly.

"Yes mother," said Loki. He gave Dean a mental kick in the shin, to get him to shut up. The jerk was laughing his ass off at the way Frigga pulled the "Mom" card on Loki.

No matter what his feelings towards Odin were, or how they _might_ repair their relationship, his feeling to Frigga was absolute.

She might not have birthed him, but she was his mother in every way other than blood. And it was clear she was also growing on Sam.

And then she definitively proved where Loki got his spark as a god of mischief.

"Of course now that you're on Asgard, we'll have to start the feast of returning," she said impishly.

Loki's face couldn't have been more horrified than if Thor had suddenly started snogging his face off without warning. Sam couldn't help the laughter that came from seeing Loki's expression.

"Mother, please _anything_ but that!"

It didn't matter how the seats were arranged, Loki _always_ ended up sitting next to Volstagg because of someone switching places. ALWAYS. And his table manners were horrible.

"I'm sorry Loki, but you know how the rules are. When one of our returns to us after undergoing the trials, we hold a feast to congratulate them for coming home once more," said Frigga. She did take pity on him though. "You can force Samuel to sit next to you and take Thor's other side. After all he will have to be part of the feast as well, since he passed the trials along with you."

The pure relief on Loki's face was almost comical. Finally, he could make someone else suffer though that headache with him.

"Do I want to know?"

"Not much changes here, and we're big on tradition. The good news is that it means you'll be able to come here and stay for months, even years on end whenever you want within reason. The bad news is you're going to be the object of a lot of curiosity and some resentment for a while. On the plus side, I no longer have to worry about ending up sitting next to _Volstagg_ during the feasts," said Loki.

"I take it's going to be a boring ceremony?"

"Immensely. Of course you always ask my mother about casting magic...she's the one who taught me."

Sam perked up at that. Frigga had left after telling Loki he could have Sam sit next to him at the feast.

* * *

The ceremony was long and boring, and Sam was really, really sick and tired of the way people looked at his brother. Loki had his usual mask on, but Sam could tell he hated being here.

And after one too many comments from Sif and the others while Thor wasn't paying attention, he'd had enough.

"You know if you have something to say, it's considered polite to say it to their face," he said irritated.

Sif was the one who spoke first.

"I find it appalling that Loki was able to bluff his way through the trials to be allowed back."

If Sam wasn't better at holding his temper than Dean, he would have thrown his knife at her.

" _Loki_ didn't take the trials. He slept through most of it outside of giving us information to survive. My older brother _Dean_ was the one who completed them," said Sam, emphasizing the names.

He knew Loki and Frigga were listening, as well as possibly Thor.

"You speak of them as two different people," said Fandral.

"They are, and at the same time they're not. Dean isn't as smart as Loki, but he's also quick to jump in to protect people he's never even met with almost no chance for glory. Loki is smart and rather caustic when's he pissed, but to be fair he's a scholar who was raised in a society of warriors who don't care for magic outside of enchanting their weapons. You look down on him because he's not as physical when it comes to fighting, and yet using magic is as exhausting as cutting someone up with a sword. It just uses different muscles," stated Sam flatly. "They are almost as different as night and day, but at the same time they're similar enough that it makes little difference."

Seeing he had quite a few people paying him attention, Sam spoke loud enough to make sure _everyone_ heard him.

"You think I didn't notice you were subtly trying to make me like Thor more than I did Loki? That I wouldn't see though your attempts to bring me in on a hunt or some battle that I had no business being in, much less want to join as an attempt to distance me from my brother? You pretend to buddy up to anyone that gets close to Loki and slowly convert them to Thor instead. Even if he hadn't told me about it, I wouldn't have been interested in hunting with a pack of glory hounds like yourselves," said Sam flatly.

Seeing them bristle and Loki successfully hiding his smirk and relief, Sam hammered in something they _hadn't_ known about Loki before he came back. He wasn't going to let the insult to his brother go down without a massive fight.

"Loki is a better Hunter than any of you would ever be," he said flatly.

"Loki? Loki can barely aim an arrow, much less track a deer," said Volstagg.

"Who said anything about hunting animals? I'm talking about hunting down the monsters who prey on the innocent and hide in plain sight," said Sam smugly.

Seeing their confusion, Loki subtly kicked Sam in the leg.

"Then again I suppose people who like to trumpet their accomplishments to any who would hear them wouldn't be able to understand the real dedication it takes to be a Hunter," concluded Sam.

"Hah! If Loki could be a 'hunter', then we could easily do the same!" said Volstagg.

"What do you think Loki? Think any of them could handle doing what we do every day without even the possibility of reward?" said Sam.

"I think they'll be eating crow the next time we see them. And just so we're clear, I'm _not_ bailing you out of jail when you realize that I'm better than you," said Loki flatly. Inside both Loki _and_ Dean were howling with laughter.

They were warriors, yes, but sneaking around trying to find monsters wasn't in their forte. It was about time they got a dose of humility!

When Sam and Loki were out of earshot, having laid down the challenge, Sam finally cracked up.

"How long do you think it'll take them to get arrested and force Fury to bail them out?"

"Not long at all. Personally I want to see the look on their faces when they realize what we do for a living, without any hope of glory or reward."

Without warning, both of them yelped as Frigga grabbed them firmly by the ears.

"Now you two didn't set them up, did you?" she asked smiling.

"Only if your definition of setting them up is to teach them a lesson," said Sam, before wincing.

"A Hunter works in the shadows. We don't do it for the glory or for money. We hunt because otherwise the monsters that hide in the night would run roughshod over the rest of humanity. The thing is that most people wouldn't believe us unless confronted by the supernatural, so we have to be discreet about it until we find the damn things. Not to mention the mortal police think we're insane because of it."

"Most of what we do is research."

Frigga released their ears.

"So you set them up without telling them _how_ to hunt monsters."

"Give them a monster to kill, and they'll do it easily enough. Finding one based on clues and hiding in plain sight was always _my_ job. It's about time they learn how much they take for granted, and I want to be here when they admit defeat," said Loki flatly.

"It's not like they couldn't handle anything we've ever hunted. I mean you kicked Zachariah's ass and he was an angel. They're harder to kill than most of the things we've faced."

"And let's not forget that most of what we do is _covert_ , not overt. They're more used to trumpeting they're there than trying to actually find anything."

Frigga gave both of them a look.

"You will, of course, give them some help."

"Bobby?" asked Sam.

"Bobby. Though he'll definitely shoot us when he finds out we dumped them on him."

"What if we dump them with different hunters?"

"Who do you have in mind?"

"Sif with Jo and Ellen, Fandral with Rufus, and Volstagg and Hogun with Bobby," said Sam.

"Perfect. Let's see them get a taste of their own medicine," said Loki.

Payback was a bitch, and Loki could turn into one. Literally, in fact.

"Of course we can't do it all at once. Let's spread the misery and give Fury headaches like he wouldn't believe. Besides it would be easier to isolate them and keep the others from dumping them onto another if we do it one at a time," said Loki.

"True," said Sam smiling.

It was around that time Thor came around the corner.

"Loki..." he started, but his brother cut him off.

"It's nothing worse or more dangerous than what they've done before, the only difference is this time they have to _find_ the monster and they'll be sent to Midgard one at a time to avoid them trying to smash everything in sight to locate the monster," he said flatly.

Which meant the realms were suitably defended and they each learned a valuable lesson. And, with any luck, they wouldn't take the resident researcher for granted a second time.

* * *

"You want us to _what?"_ said Ellen in disbelief.

"Long story short, Sam set a challenge down for Thor's warrior friends who are always harassing Loki in the shadows and mocking him behind his back because he prefers to research what he's facing rather than charge in like an idiot. So they were challenged to act as _Hunters_ , not Warriors for the period of one month or until they admit they were wrong about Loki. The thing is that if left unchecked they're more likely to ruin a hunt rather than kill the monster. So we're pairing them with established hunters who can at least keep a green horn alive for a month."

"Look, as funny as it would be to teach an idiot a lesson I've got enough on my plate keeping Jo alive," said Ellen.

"They're not bad fighters, they just suck at being discreet," supplied Sam.

Ellen looked unsure.

"Which one am I being saddled with?"

"Sif, the lone female of the group. Think Xena, warrior princess only without the princess bit and you pretty much have an idea of what she's like," deadpanned Dean.

"Fine. But you owe me for this."

"I can pay a decent sum of cash to repay you or a favor of your choice, within reason," said Dean immediately.

"And some enchanted weapons, to start with."

"Now that I can do. Any preference? Blades are easier, but guns are a bit tricky since they don't use the same kind," asked Dean.

Ellen wrote up a list of what she wanted, some requiring two sets (one for her and Jo each), and a few days later Dean showed up with most of them. Some she would have to wait for them to be forged, but the others were easy to come by.

Aside from the minor hiccup of her giving Loki a black eye (apparently one of her cousins was killed during the invasion...plus he _was_ a Winchester) she believed him.


	13. Chapter 13

Tony held in his hand a tablet. But it was what was one the tablet that had Dean's full and undivided attention.

"Have you been hacking S.H.I.E.L.D.'s files again?" asked Dean amused.

"Yes, but that's besides the point. I'm more curious why several Asgardians have been arrested multiple times, and twice sent to the loony bin before Fury had them picked up," said Tony, eyes sparkling with mischief.

"Ask Sam," said Dean immediately.

Sam looked unrepentant.

"I challenged them to be Hunters for a month, instead of Warriors."

Natasha suddenly snorted.

"So that's what's going on. Fury has been going nuts trying to figure out what the Asgardian idiots are up to."

"Not our fault they're used to having monsters handed to them instead of researching and finding them the hard way," said Sam.

Clint was snickering now.

"Don't hunters often pretend to be cops or priests to get information?"

"I had to bribe the three who are keeping the Asgard in line with money, enchanted weapons and a personal favor from the god of mischief. And then they upped their demands after the third time the Warriors got arrested after the hunter bailed on them when they drew too much attention. I gave them Fury's number and told them to dump bailing the idiots out on him," said Dean grinning like the Cheshire cat.

That had most of the Avengers laughing.

Dean had, in order to keep Thor from worrying about his friends, taken him out on a few hunts to demonstrate what they did and how.

After the first hunt, Thor had learned how much patience was required. After the second, he realized it really wasn't that much different from the many monsters he dealt with among the nine realms, save that he had to actually _look_ for it and he couldn't just announce his presence without having people looking at him like he was crazy...or the cops trying to arrest him for being a nuisance.

After the third, he realized this job was uniquely suited to Loki. He was a wellspring of information long forgotten or lost to the humans of Earth, and he thrived in research. Before when they confronted a monster that was threatening the innocent that they didn't recognize, it was usually Loki who knew what it was and how to kill it.

Hunters didn't do it for the glory. Everyone worked equally in the shadows and did the research. The only difference was that he _was_ being acknowledged by other researchers and hunters for his skill and merit, even if it was a quiet one.

Considering Thor had gone over what he knew of the 'ballads' written about his accomplishments and was somewhat disturbed to notice a trend to either downplay Loki's part or skip over it entirely, he couldn't entirely blame his brother for preferring life as a Hunter to living in Asgard as a somewhat redeemed Prince.

At least with Hunters, it was personal that they kept quiet about what they did. It was just the nature of the job.

Either way, any misgivings Thor had about the prank Sam had tricked his companions into went out the window when he realized what a Hunt was. Even if it meant their dignity as warriors took quite a few hits because Fury had to keep bailing them out all the time.

He at least had learned with Jane to keep his true nature _quiet_.

"So what's the record?"

"Well a woman fitting Sif's description has been arrested fifteen times, and thrown into the loony bin once. Fandral's being sued for sexual harassment in _three_ states, arrested sixteen times, and is currently banned from multiple bars...and one strip club. Volstagg is now banned from any all you-can-eat restaurants in the state of Colorado, most of Sioux Falls, and has been arrested ten times for illegally impersonating a cop, twice for a priest...and twelve times for attempting a dine-and-dash."

"It is Hogun's turn next. He might actually survive a month without getting arrested," said Dean, once he could breathe. Loki wasn't much better, though in his case he was cackling.

Sam was just smirking, though you could hear the dark chuckles from where he was reading the reports on the other tablet Tony had pulled the files up.

Thor...well, he looked more embarrassed by the reports than when Natasha called him out on the fact Loki had more or less killed eighty people and he mentioned Loki _was_ adopted.

He had known the Warriors would get a wake up call. He just hadn't expected them to fair this poorly during a routine hunt. They got arrested for a simple _ghost_ , for crying out loud, or in Sif's case it happened twice.

Needless to say Jo was tickled pink finding out she was a much better hunter than even the Norse Goddess of War. It certainly got her mother off her case whenever she made a _minor_ mistake during a hunt.

"Well at least now we can definitively state Sam is your brother, Loki," said Bruce.

Loki shifted from Dean, and his smug expression said volumes of how he felt.

It was about time the Warriors got a taste of what his job was like.

Payback was a bitch.

* * *

"I'm bored," said Sam suddenly.

They had finished and hunt and were due for a break anyway. And after Hogun the "Grim" proved to be the only one of Thor's friends who had even the slightest ability in being a hunter...though that was more because he didn't talk much and wasn't as quick to get irritated by the cloak and dagger nature of hunts...their source of entertainment had more or less dried up.

Of course there had been the snafu of running into Chuck at a _Supernatural_ fan convention they had zero interest in. Thankfully Loki was able to bring Hel with them when they realized what they were dealing with.

Pissy ghost children had _nothing_ on the Goddess of Death. Loki didn't know who found it funnier, them or the mother that had been holding the brats back after they killed her son. Hel had literally taken the trio over her knee and gave them the thrashing they so richly deserved before dragging their asses to whatever afterlife they had skipped out on.

The mother and her son went on peacefully once they were sure the trio were gone.

Of course that had nothing compared to the looks Becky the "Wincest" fan had given Dean when she found out he was the same Loki who nearly destroyed a good chunk of New York.

She didn't cease and desist, but she _did_ quit coming up with new and mentally scarring stories.

It was times when he found out about fanfiction that Dean wished that he could use Loki to make a "Cease and Desist" order. Sadly that would never happen as technically they didn't exist and there was the tiny factor of them being legally dead.

He could dream though.

Or he could finally cave and join his brother's band of idiots, with the agreement that Fury could ban Wincest Fanfiction on the grounds that the guy who wrote it stop printing without some damn royalties.

...Nah. Then they'd have to explain about prophets and angels and he really, really didn't want to deal with a psychiatric evaluation.

"Well what do you expect me to do about it?" asked Dean.

"We could visit a different planet," said Sam, trying not to sound too eager.

Loki grinned at his brother.

"Why not. It should prove entertaining at least, and we could introduce the universe at large to Hunting. I bet it would stick in the craw of the Warriors if they found out a pair of Asgardian brothers were doing their job, except the brothers aren't demanding to be acknowledged for what they consider their duty," said Loki with unveiled glee.

Sam snorted, before laughing.

That was definitely going to piss them off, finding out that the Winchesters had chosen to try their luck hunting in the worlds other than Earth.

Considering they, unlike Thor and his friends, never asked to be thanked it was quite likely people would ask for the Winchesters first.

"Well I suppose a jaunt to one of the occupied worlds would be safe enough."

Sam perked up at that.

"And since we don't want Thor to come and bother us...we'll use the old paths."

"At this rate I'll be as proficient as you are at finding them."

"It took me a hundred some odd years before I was remotely proficient enough to traverse the paths without issue. Don't get your hopes up. The one to Asgard, _that_ you can safely traverse."

Sam made a face, but didn't complain. To be fair, he thought the paths were creepy as hell, but still too useful to dismiss.

"Look at the bright side. By now it's reached Lucifer you're no longer entirely human and that both Winchesters might be off the table. Which means we might be able to reason with him."

"Might being the operative word here," said Sam.

"In order for the angels to have their stupid spat, they need _both_ Winchesters to cooperate. But that plan goes out the window the moment the 'Winchesters' are no longer human. The second Odin granted you the status as an Asgardian, you became useless to Lucifer, just as my memories as Loki made me useless to Micheal as a vessel. Because the faiths were too different, Asgardians are automatically immune to angel possession. And, if they're sufficiently strong enough, immune to demons as well."

"What's the catch?" asked Sam.

"The afterlife. The best one to land in is Valhalla, but that's only for warriors and heroes. Then there's Helhiem, but you've seen it. It's still better than the Greek/Roman pantheons idea of death. They only have _one_ place for the dead and you have to do something very special indeed to get the good spot in Hades' realm...or if you're lucky, a spot at the god's table."

Seeing Sam's interest, Loki hit upon an idea that would definitely make him happy.

"How about I take you on a minor tour of the Greek pantheon? It's not that difficult to visit, but you have to be on your best behavior. As will I, unfortunately."

Loki definitely knew how to make Sam a happy hunter. The idea of meeting the Greek/Roman pantheon was something that appealed to his inner scholar, and to be honest it meant very little chance of running into Thor.

Odds were he'd get into a debate with Athena and end up talking with Artemis for hours about Hunting as opposed to hunting. Unlike Dean, Sam wasn't a "man-whore" as he was colloquially called.

And really, getting Sam away while he became used to having Asgardian powers (not including the magic Loki was still teaching him on the side) was a better idea than letting the angels harass them.

He really, really wished he could be there when Micheal found out how thoroughly Dean and Tony were corrupting the boy scout known as Castiel.

Gabriel had already laughed himself sick when he realized what they were doing.

Come to think of it, dragging Gabriel and Castiel to the Greeks might be a good way to judge if they could get some help dealing with the idiot angels. Gabriel was used to pagans already (and he knew that the other gods would get a good laugh that Loki apparently had someone _stealing_ his name to punish idiots) and they could corrupt Castiel even further. Or at least get some good blackmail material once the angel was good and drunk.

One call to Gabriel, and he was absolutely in. Castiel, however, had been dragged into a theology debate and couldn't be taken away save for his Father's orders.

Pity. It would have been funny to see Castiel drunk off his ass.

"I heard the words Greek and Party."

"Sam was bored and I haven't been to Olympus in some time. So long as I give sufficient warning that we're only there to visit and not cause trouble we should be allowed to enter. If not, well, I'm sure Hades and Poseidon would enjoy hearing about how things are going outside their realms."

It wasn't like they always followed Zeus' demands, especially Hades.

Loki sent off a missive using an orb made of pure magic, and an hour later he got a reply back on the mirror he had enchanted to use as a scrying tool.

He wasn't a master at it, but it served his purpose.

"We've got an all clear from Hera herself to visit. Apparently Zeus is off gallivanting with the mortals again."

"I'm not going to ask," said Sam wisely.

* * *

"Does it worry you that Athena is clearly interested in Sam, and more than just as a fellow scholar?" asked Gabriel, highly amused.

"So long as we don't have to deal with any fall out, she can cop a feel for all I care," deadpanned Dean.

Loki had little interest in Olympus, especially considering the fact he quickly realized word had spread about the incident on Earth, so he let Dean have full control with the agreement that he would come out if anything happened.

And as Loki had predicted, the Olympians found it _hilarious_ that an angel had committed what the mortals called "identity theft" on the Norse trickster.

Especially Hermes, the ass.

"Do I hear the potential for a bet?"

Gabriel rubbed his hands eagerly.

"I may have a few coins I could spare," he said with glee.

"I bet this entire pouch that Artemis or Athena ends up visiting us on Earth, either to continue the discussion or to see what we do," said Loki flatly.

"I bet you fifty drachma that they don't," said Hermes. They shook on it...and Loki made sure to produce a standard contract to insure both parties paid up.

Considering a good chunk of the Greeks had a bad habit of blaming wine when it came time to pay up, having a contract like this was the only way to insure you received payment.

Hermes and a few others had gotten tired of having Zeus and the other gods pretend the debt didn't exist, so they started insisting on enchanted contracts after the belief started to drop.

Loki knew about the issue (though no one had been stupid enough to do the same to him for fear of pissing him off, since anyone dumb enough to be against him and lose generally didn't get any sympathy from Odin, never mind Thor) but contracts had become standard by the time he was old enough.

The two shook on it, and the contract was set.

"We'll set the payment in the event there's any follow through within the next sixth months," said Loki.

"To be verified independently," agreed Hermes, smirking. "So have you been to Camp Half-Blood yet?"

"What?"

"There's a camp for half-bloods like Herakles or Perseus from the old days. Mostly so they don't make as many waves...and so they live."

"Huh. Is this on Earth or..."

"It's on Midgard, just off New York city. Hell, we're technically above the Empire State Building at the moment."

"Oh that's going to amuse the hell out of Sam. And I _know_ Stark is going to attempt to figure out how _that_ works once he finds out."

Hermes made a face.

"Yeah...tell Tony that Zeus wasn't exactly _happy_ that he flew so close to the Empire State building with that nuke."

"He was aiming it at the hole, because some idiots sent it believing they couldn't hold New York. They thought it would actually close the hole, not cause massive casualties," deadpanned Loki.


End file.
